By Mawuli ZOGBENU
Blessed is she who often finds condoms in her husband’s pocket for she is fully protected from sexually transmitted diseases. She is also saved from heartbreaks of getting to know her husband may not be fathering children and creating another family outside of the main home.
Sister Amerley, don’t be excited if you have never seen a condom in your husband’s pocket or under the spare tyre of his car. It is not a good sign; temporarily, you may be happy and think your husband is the most faithful in town but in the long run?
Hmmmm! It is either he is sowing seed outside and creating another family or harvesting diseases that can be transferred to you. When you say a prayer, remember him in your prayers. When he is travelling put two packs of condom in his travelling bag. Bad advice, anaaaa? Hahahahahaha!
Generally good people don’t live long that is why I don’t want to be a good person; at least not now!
Divorce is not a good thing. I fear it more than death. Those who say my partner is disturbing me to the extent that if I am not careful I will die, they won’t die. Remain in it like that. After all, we are many. As for death, if it will come, whether you are sitting down or running and it still wants to come after you, it will come regardless of your movement.
Sitso was so mad at the partner that they divorced last August because he said ‘Mawu, if I don’t leave tis marriage, I will die from the stress’. The divorce was granted in August 2024 and Sitso was expected to live forever from the new freedom. Jokes aside, Sitso was buried last weekend! Sitso still died anyway. May Sitso’s soul rest in peace! Hmmm!
This is the month of love. And the best engine oil for love to thrive is FORGIVENESS. No matter what, husbands and wives will offend each other almost on daily basis.
Marriage is 90% luck. All the other abstract ingredients like love, understanding each other, effective communication are all theories. Some will state that God in marriage is the best. Though that is true, from what is happening in contemporary times, a lot of couples don’t believe in the God factor in marriage – they only pretend. Otherwise I don’t see why gospel marriage counsellors also divorce.
This has always been my conviction. You can’t finish knowing your partner; every day has its own ‘what a shock’. Marriage is pure luck! Period!
Just look at these. ‘Boafo y3 Nam’ is an inscription you can find only on taxis in my hometown; only in the region of my birth. So long as you can understand what we are talking about in Twi, what’s the big deal! A typical Ayigbeman will never call ‘ampesie’ the way it should be spelt. We prefer calling it…hold your breath, ‘mpesi’. The inscriptions on most trotro and taxi vehicles can sometimes be extremely astonishing. One of my favorites is ‘Fear woman’ on a 207 benz bus plying Lapaz and Accra Central. I once approached the owner and driver of this trotro and he gave me all the reasons I should ‘fear woman’. Too many women broke brother man’s heart. Sorry oo, bro.
The last one that broke the camel’s back was when a woman he was about to marry never told him she had 5 children already. One day he returned from work only to see them brought in a taxi with their luggage coming on holidays to see ‘Mama’. ‘Mama? Hmmm! What a shock! But don’t men also do some of these things or? This trotro driver interestingly also has three kids from three different women and did not tell the woman. I am waiting for the day I see a female trotro driver also writing on her car: ‘Fear Men’. As for the ‘All men are the same’, some of them tell us but we don’t mind.
Single ladies, please be warned when a man 35 years or above comes to tell you he wants the ‘thing’ because he has problems with his wife oo, yoo! It is a trick we all use just to ‘cross the border’ and dump some girls. If you are not lucky and ‘the thing ‘lock’, we would tell you to commot it because it can create problems between us and our wives oo. By then, knowing the truth may be too late. Many men do this apart from me. The only one I did before was…you want to hear? Then close your eyes let me tell you er. You won’t close your eyes? Okay, I won’t say anything again sef. Hahahahaha!
I told the innocent girl that my wife lives abroad and we are filing for divorce because she said she won’t come to Ghana again. I showed my wife’s picture to her. Unfortunately for me, she happens to be my wife’s hairdresser at Tesano. Case close! As to how it continued till the exposure, please stop looking at my picture up there. That was the picture she sent to my wife advising her against this ‘useless’ man she calls ‘Honey’. Hmmm! Me? Honey? What about me koraa that! Ei! Ataa menn! Brothers be bad oo, h333r!
‘And so what’…’Mine your own business’, Let Them Say’, ‘They act as lovers’, Black Rasta’, ‘Still…No Mercy for the Cripple’, ‘Jesus is the Answer’, ‘Yesu y3 Nkwan (Jesus prepares soup)’, ‘You Say Weytin’, Docta Jesus’, ‘Chairman nie’, ‘I Conquer Satan’, ‘Saminy’, Edzibanaaa’, GTV, TV3, ‘Chairman-General’, ‘Yesu Mogya’, ‘I Swear’, ‘Don’t Mind Your Wife’, ‘Good Brother’ (this one is soo common), ‘Trust No One’, ‘I Tross My Leg’, ‘Engineer’, ‘Atuguba’, ‘No Size’, Commander 1, ‘Give me Quarter’ ‘Respect the Police’, ‘No Weapon’, ‘Tamale’, ‘Azey’ (common in Takoradi), Suro Nipa’, ‘Mawuli’ (I can’t forget this one), ‘Mawulolo’, ‘Don’t Mind the Body (especially OSA buses at Kaneshie-Odorkor area), ‘Ok333 Mini’ (Teshie Nungua areas), ‘Monkey no fine’ ‘Adwen B’, ‘Bompay3’, ‘Dzimakpla’ (hmmm, no comment). ‘Y3ni wo sri kwa’, etc.
‘Nakan norr’, Seeerious’, ‘Kortor’, Poor No Friend, Nyame Tease’, Righteous, ‘Nhyira Nka Boafo’, David Ba, Forgive, Susu Papaye, Nowhere Cool’, Santana, ‘With God’ (in front) and ‘All Things’ (at the back), ‘Fear God’, ‘Reinforcement’ (this was a taxi I recently boarded at Nungua; it had a cement block at the back), ‘Peace and Love’, ‘Are You God?’, ‘Kae Me Bre’, ‘Blessing, Look at him Like That’, ‘Wonnye Nyame’, Let Them Say, ‘Konongo Kaya’, Wayeeaf3re’, Lapaz Toyota, ‘It is over’… ‘2016’, ‘I love my wife’, ‘No Woman No Cry’.
‘Yesu Mogya’. ‘Nkwan Na Ahian’ (meaning ‘It is soup that matters’), Susubribi, ‘Wo Nyame Sum Mpo Nie’…
Many times this happens unannounced especially as the suspense is great. Stop that thing and find other ways of doing it oo, yooo!
Whatever inscription you find on a trotro or taxi, you can be sure there are only a few of such at East Legon; in fact, they are almost non-existent. But come to Kasoa and see things for yourself.
Have a trouble-free weekend and remember to wear condom always before she sits on it. If I say ‘abstain’ you won’t do it but wear condom especially outside your home. HIV / AIDS is on the rise and the first sign that you have it if you fear to go and do the test – just do it because you have it already just like everybody does – it will be either positive or negative! Sin fascinates and assassinates! Happy Valentine’s Day…but be warned…you have control over your body than you can ever imagine!
