“It’s not what you are called, but what you answer to.” – African proverb
It is no secret that we all desire power in some form or the other because it affords us influence on others and grants us access to valuable resources. Psychologists argue that we are so drawn to power that many of us can re-code our brain processes to create a new mindset from just temporarily wearing power-symbolizing clothes or role-playing a high-status position.
This should not surprise us because there are many wonderful benefits that comes with power; from the spotlight shining on you, to enjoying greater connectivity to people and resources which leads to more freedom and happiness in various forms.
What is most interesting about power is, we all want it because it is a force within us. All of us always have some degree of it inside us. It is as we say, “a part of the game.” Maybe, we have not given it much thought, but the power within us shows itself in all our relationships, whether we are at work, or we are with friends, or in a group or our romantic relations.
We interact with the power within us, but in dimensions that vary from very little to a great deal. We are relational beings with different inclinations and leanings. These tendencies vary according to how we perceive ourselves and where we find ourselves, but the way we express them stems from the power within us.
What we need to realise is reality is not the same for all of us because our lives are subjective to what we choose to pay attention to. Which is to say, the way our consciousness is disposed towards everything we encounter, renders what the world is for us. This reveals to us that what exists inside of us, affects the way we behave on the outside. It is the same with power.
How powerfully we perceive ourselves affect the way we demonstrate power on the outside. That is why from religion, through philosophy to psychology, there is an inherent call to understand that we are powerful beings, and we need to unearth that potential to bring the best of ourselves to bear on our humanity.
Our self-esteem has a direct relationship with our appreciation of the power within us. When an individual believes that he or she is valuable to society and our humanity simply because they exist, they have developed a stable sense of self-worth that is not dependent on external validation or achievements.
It comes from an internal discovery that one is powerful. It is the reason spirituality and psychology argue true power comes from within. The premise is that confidence, happiness and strength, all spring from within us and those who know this and have unearthed them usually esteem themselves highly. Individuals with high self-esteem have accepted they strengths and weaknesses without judgement and treat themselves with kindness and compassion.
Interestingly for many of us, when we want to have more influence over our lives, to particularly increase our own self-determination and autonomy; and or want to be able to control how others behave around us; we assume the solution can be found from seeking positional power, which is outside of ourselves.
It is the reason many of us seek compliments and the approval of others, even though these are often unstable and fluctuates with circumstances. We need to understand that other people giving us ‘thumb-ups’ and standing ovations do not necessarily make us powerful. It is only a sign that they approve a certain act of ours. How we relate to them determine how we influence them. That is why we need to work on harnessing the power within us.
Moreover, many studies have concluded that what we give attention to, gives us the answers you want. It is therefore not surprising that when our focus is that “power” is an outside force bestowed on an individual, we tend to seek that. However, this attitude has prevented many of us from making efforts to unlock their inner potential.
What we need to appreciate is that outside power or positional power only places more social responsibilities on us and depending on the structure of the society we find ourselves and would only bring out the real power within us. This means whichever way you look at it, you need to unlock the potential that is within you.
We know in general; there are many individuals who tend to be more self-focused and self-serving and are always finding ways to maximise personal gains to the detriment of the wider society.
These are those who desire the spotlight and they crave for positional power. When such individuals do not unearth the power within them, that force that helps us to nurture and build thriving relationships, but seek positional power; which is often ‘Machiavellian’, they do “become a little bit more narcissistic, pay less attention to other people, and become more impulsive in their behaviours;” an attitude that has led to the age-old adage, “power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
The truth however is, ‘real power,’ which comes from within is ethical. It seeks the good of oneself as well as that of others. It is a beautiful force that empowers us to do more for our humanity. It does not engage in stereotyping, but instead seeks the uniqueness and wonderfulness in every being they encounter.
It understands everyone else is also powerful and thus the objective is to nurture a thriving relationship with that being. Let us therefore seek that beautiful force welled inside of us. It is rooted in our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. The key is to unlock it start with understanding and appreciating the self…
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Kodwo Brumpon is an executive coach at Polygon Oval, a forward-thinking Pan African management consultancy and social impact firm driven by data analytics, with a focus on understanding the extraordinary potential and needs of organisations and businesses to help them cultivate synergies, that catapults into their strategic growth, and certifies their sustainability.
Comments, suggestions, and requests for talks and training should be sent to him at [email protected]
