Hello, my name is Dede Nyansapo. I am an entrepreneur who also participates in Accra’s burgeoning gig economy as a driver. My love for meeting fascinating people and my curiosity about how they think usually places me in the midst of some very entertaining conversations. Invariably, these conversations lead to some key learnings that may be useful to anyone on their business journey.
Episode 20: There’s something about envy
As someone who rarely finds the time to watch movies myself, I relish the opportunity to take passengers to and from the famous Silverbird Cinemas at Accra Mall, especially when they are excited about the premier of a new movie. Oftentimes, these moviegoers would give me a synopsis of the movie, how long they have been fans of the actors or actresses or even the directors. I’m often amazed by how fully immersed in the cinematic world some people can be, especially to the point where they are willing to debate the writers of the movies themselves on how some comments would never be made by a particular character, or at least not in the manner that the writers portrayed.
This evening was different, I was fortunate enough to pick up a father and son on their way to watch a movie and their conversation which I will share with you was slightly more than the ordinary.
Papa: You know, Kojo, as you prepare to take over the family firm, there’s something important I want to talk to you about. It’s not exactly about finance or strategy—although those are crucial—but something more subtle, more insidious: envy.
Kojo: Envy, Papa? I mean, I get that it exists, but how relevant is it to running a business?
Papa: Very relevant, my boy. Envy is a complex emotion and can be a silent disruptor in any organization. When you are successful, as I know you will be, it is inevitable that some people will feel envious of you. Understanding and managing this is crucial.
Kojo: But isn’t envy just a petty feeling? Why should it matter if others feel envious?
Papa: Envy is indeed a petty feeling, but its impacts can be far-reaching. People afflicted by envy often don’t realize they suffer from it. It can manifest in subtle ways—undermining comments, lack of support, or even active sabotage. The worst part is, it often comes from those closest to you, those who have witnessed your rise and compare it to their own progress, which might be slower.
Kojo: Are you saying that my own colleagues and friends could be envious of me? I trust these people, Papa.
Papa: Yes, and that trust is important. But you must also be aware of human nature. Those who have seen your meteoric rise might feel a sense of inferiority, which can then manifest in negative ways. They might think you believe you are superior to them, even if you don’t.
Kojo: So, what can I do about it? How can I mitigate this envy you’re talking about?
Papa: There are several ways, Kojo. First and foremost is modesty. Always stay humble and acknowledge the contributions of others. Celebrate the team’s successes as much as your own. This can help to reduce the feelings of inferiority among your peers.
Kojo: That makes sense. But what if being modest isn’t enough? What if people are still envious?
Papa: Modesty is just the beginning. Another important approach is to build strong, genuine relationships. When people feel connected to you, they’re less likely to harbor negative feelings. Show empathy and understanding; be genuinely interested in their lives and struggles.
Kojo: I see. But isn’t it exhausting to always be on guard for envy? Doesn’t it take away from focusing on the business?
Papa: It can be challenging, but it’s part of being a leader. Another way to handle envy is to be transparent and fair in all your dealings. When people see that you’re honest and equitable, there’s less room for envy to grow. Always communicate openly and make decisions that are justifiable and transparent.
Kojo: What about recognizing and addressing envy when it arises? How do you do that without making things worse?
Papa: Good question. When you notice signs of envy, address them calmly and privately. Never in public. Acknowledge the person’s feelings and reassure them of their value. Sometimes, people just need to be heard and reassured.
Kojo: So, in essence, it’s about fostering a positive environment and being proactive about addressing issues?
Papa: Exactly. However, remember not to reduce your own achievements or let negative thoughts affect your daily routine. There will always be those who are determined through their habits and actions not to succeed, and you cannot let their negativity pull you down.
Kojo: That’s a tough balance, Papa. How do you stay positive and focused when dealing with such negativity?
Papa: It’s not easy, Kojo. It requires a strong mindset and a clear vision of your goals. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Find mentors and peers who uplift you. And always keep your focus on your purpose and values.
Kojo: I’m beginning to understand now. It’s not just about dealing with envy, but about creating a culture that minimizes it from the start.
Papa: Precisely. Prevention is better than cure. But when it does arise, handle it with grace and firmness. You must protect your own mental well-being while being compassionate to others.
Kojo: Have you had to deal with envy personally, Papa? How did you handle it?
Papa: Oh, many times. As a banker in Accra, I’ve seen it all. There were colleagues who tried to undermine me, friends who grew distant. I handled it by staying true to my values, being transparent, and always focusing on the bigger picture. I never let their envy distract me from my goals.
Kojo: It sounds like a delicate dance. How do you know when to address envy and when to let it slide?
Papa: Experience helps with that. Over time, you’ll develop an intuition for these things. But generally, if envy starts affecting work or relationships, it needs to be addressed. If it’s minor and doesn’t impact the overall harmony, sometimes it’s best to let it slide and lead by example.
Kojo: This is a lot to take in, but I see the wisdom in your words. Thank you for sharing this with me, Papa. I’ll do my best to apply it as I take on more responsibilities.
Papa: I have no doubt you will, Kojo. Remember, leadership is as much about managing emotions and relationships as it is about managing the business. Envy is just one of many challenges you’ll face, but with the right approach, you can turn it into an opportunity for growth—for yourself and for others.
Kojo: I’ll keep that in mind. I appreciate your guidance, Papa. It’s reassuring to know I can always come to you for advice.
Papa: Always, my son. And remember, no matter what challenges you face, you have the strength and wisdom to overcome them. Just stay true to yourself and your values.
Kojo: I will. Thank you, Papa. Now, let’s enjoy this movie premiere and take a break from all the serious talk!
Papa: Indeed, let’s do that. It’s important to have moments of joy and relaxation too. Let’s make it a night to remember.
Kojo: Absolutely. Here’s to a great evening and to navigating envy with grace.
Papa: Cheers to that, my son. Cheers to that.
This conversation left me with only one question. Would you know it, if you became slightly envious of someone you knew? Would you acknowledge it or would you try to justify it? Perhaps the best way is to focus on your own life journey and run your own race. But who am I to tell others what to do? I’m just your favourite, fictional uber driver.
