My customer, my enemy

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…when the relationship goes very sour

Ever wondered how two lovers can become sworn enemies within a short period of time? I have always found it pretty intriguing. That two people can profess undying love for each other and then, by some means, end up not being able to stand each other’s presence is a mystery to me. Sometimes, the hatred for each other can become so overbearing that lives have been taken as a result. It seems to me that the greater the love, the greater the pain that it can come with. It is said that those with the capacity to bring us so much joy are also those who can bring us so much unbearable pain.

The business-customer relationship is so like that of two lovers. Over the more than a decade of this column, I have made that point countless times, culminating in the 2014 publication of my book, “Customer Romance: The New Feel of Customer Service.” It is important for businesses that their customers truly fall in love with the product or service on offer. The love of customers for the brand or the offering is the key to the success of any business enterprise. The benefits to the business of customers who have fallen in love has been widely studied. The bottom-line is that these customers positively affect the bottom-line of the business. The more customers who are in love with the business, the more money they make for the business.

However, just as with two lovers, things can also fall apart. Things can get so bad that customers can turn into enemies. Yes, customers do hold grudges—and they can hold these grudges for a long time. This assertion was backed, more than a decade ago, by the results of a study published in the November 2009 edition of the Journal of Marketing. The title of the study was “When Customer Love Turns into Lasting Hate: The Effects of Relationship Strength and Time on Customer Revenge and Avoidance”.

The researchers claimed that when customers become enemies, one of two things happen. It has been found that when people feel threatened, there are two things they will do—flight or fight. The flight or fight response is the body’s way of protecting itself from stressful situations. It is an automatic response, meaning we do it without really giving it much thought. It has been said to be responsible for the survival of our ancestors.

According to the abovementioned study, one thing customers can do when they turn on a business is to avoid doing business with the offending organisation. This is the Flight Mode. Just as would happen in any relationship, avoidance seems like a natural consequence of a problem in a relationship. The last thing you want to do is to spend time in the same space with a loved one you are having a problem with. Even a husband and wife, who have married for decades, will resort to avoidance when there is a problem.

Offended customers will do everything to stay away from the offending brand. It is the customer’s way of escaping the toxic relationship. Such customers, even if they really need the product, will decide to send someone else to get the product or they will find another way of getting the product. The pain of the disappointment will be too strong for the customer to come into contact directly with the brand.

Withdrawing their business seems a better of the two things customers can do when they feel offended. The other option can be a lot more damaging. This is the Fight Response. Customers can also decide to get back at the business in question. Revenge can be such a consuming emotion that when customers get into that mode, the business in question is in for some serious challenges with that customer. An offended customers’ need to punish and cause harm to a business for the damages it has caused can lead to devastating results for a business.

Customers who were really mad at the business and wanted to be heard would resort to private complaining by calling or visiting the offending business. If the customer wanted to really take the notch up, the one could contact a newspaper. A “Letter to the Editor” was always an option, although the editorial policy of the newspaper was always going to be a challenge. But no more. Those days have quickly receded as times have sped by.

Today’s vengeful customer has the “mighty” Internet at his or her disposal. Online public complaining, a phenomenon where customers resort to the use of the Internet to publicly complain about firms, is now a norm. There are even websites purposely created to aid customers who want to get back at a company for poor service. Some of these sites even create communities of aggrieved customers. We all know that there is indeed strength in numbers. Therefore when a community of angry customers convene, there is bound to be absolute bedlam.

Even without those scary websites, an angry customer can write a few lines on his or her social media page and the issue can get out of hand in no time. I tell people that the “Share” button is one of the scariest devices social media came along with. People who like a post have been known to share the post without finding out if it is verifiable truth or just someone’s distorted opinion.

It is important for businesses to note that for offended customers, avoidance and revenge are not mutually exclusive. Customers can avoid doing business with the organisation but that does not stop them from also causing damage to the brand from behind the scenes. Under such circumstances, the customer might desist from public complaining. Such a customer might complain privately. The customer can then go into badmouthing mode, destroying the image of the business to anyone who will listen.

The aforementioned November 2009 Journal of Marketing study sought to find out how the strength of the relationship and time affected the way customers react to the avoidance and revenge emotions. The first thing they found was that avoidance increases over time. One reason given is that because customers can easily find alternatives, they are more prone to continue avoiding the business as time went on. In fact, the longer it takes for an aggrieved to return to the offending business, the greater the chances of that customer never returning. Avoidance is the first step towards moving to the competition.

On the other hand, it was found that the desire for revenge decreases over time. The truth is that retaliation demands resources. Customers might hold a grudge for a while. However, the cost of holding on to the anger can become so much that a customer will eventually decide against revenge. Over a period of time, it becomes less important for the customer to invest important resources such as time and creativity to plot a revenge. A customer who goes public with a complaint will feel he or she has done enough to get back at the business and thus will not go any further to do more damage.

One of the most important findings of the above-mentioned study was that it was actually a firm’s best customers who tend to hold the most grudges. It seems the stronger the bond between the customer and the brand, the more disappointed the customer becomes when things do not go according to plan. Interestingly, the desire for revenge and the tendency to avoid was not as strong over time for customers who did not have a strong bond with the business in question. That is also understandable. If the customer does not see any future in the relationship with the business, it makes no sense to continue to hold a grudge against the business in question. It is when the customer has to keep seeing that business or keep going back to the same business, that things can get a little more tensed.

But as with the love between spouses and better halves, all is not lost when things go sour. The study found that an apology and compensation could help reverse any negative emotions that might have arisen as a result of the service failure. With the right approach, things can be salvaged.

As a matter of fact, there are studies that show that customers only really go online to complain when any attempts to remedy the original offence also goes wrong. Service scientists refer to this phenomenon as Double Deviation and it refers to what happens when the attempt to do right by a dissatisfied customer also goes wrong. This is why service recovery must be given all the serious consideration it deserves. Firms must see an attempt to remedy a bad service situation for what it truly is—a last chance to win over a customer.

You know what they say about love and hate. There is truly a very thin line between the two. Customers who are most in love with a brand can become sworn enemies of the brand in a matter of days. The above discussion also proves that customers do not just forget, especially the bad experiences. These linger in the minds of customers—and they will eventually do something about it. It is the job of every business to ensure that at every point in time, it is aware of where its customers are with regards to the relationship. Complacency cannot be entertained. When things do not go according to plan, it is important that the business does everything possible to get things right. Any things less, and a good customer can easily become a bad enemy.

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