Insights with Dzigbordi K. Dosoo: Mastering life’s curveballs

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Positive conflicts in the workplace

Throughout life, we encounter a series of events that require us to make a conscious decision to respond or react. Although many of these experiences are outside of our control, it’s important to recognize that our identity is not defined by external circumstances. The ability to define oneself, determine one’s potential, and chart one’s course in life is an exclusive privilege that rests with the individual. This self-definition imbues one with a robust sense of relevance and grants them the power to navigate the ups and downs of life successfully. Sadly, this valuable insight is often lost in the workplace, where both employees and employers may fail to acknowledge their inner strength. It is unfortunate that many people do not recognize their inherent capacity to deal with life’s challenges. At times, it is natural to feel overwhelmed and lost in the sea of everything and everyone around us. However, it is essential to avoid lingering in that dark place for too long. While tears are an inevitable part of life, there is always light on the other side. Nobody is perfect, and there may be cracks in everything, but these imperfections are precisely where the light gets in.

The pandemic era presented many challenges, and we have encountered many obstacles as we search for solutions. However, within these difficulties lies the opportunity for us to be seen and heard. Often, we may be visible but not heard, or heard but not seen, and at times the path forward may appear blurry. But even in the tiniest corner, if we open our eyes a little wider, there is always a glimmer of hope. It is natural to feel lost, experience pain, or shed tears, but we should allow ourselves to go through these emotions. In doing so, we create an opportunity for rebirth and renewal. Instead of holding back, we should embrace the process, for every dark cloud has a silver lining. By cultivating a growth mindset, we can breathe new life into our work, businesses, or careers, just like a potter molds and shapes clay into something new and beautiful, even from what may appear at first to be a spoiled lump.

Effective communication requires a focus on response rather than reaction. Although research has extensively examined this concept, as humans, we tend to react instinctively rather than respond thoughtfully. When confronted with mounting pressure and stress, we must ask ourselves if we will react and exacerbate the problem or if we will concentrate on the outcome we desire and respond accordingly. Acaciahrsolutions describes reactions as impulsive, tense, aggressive, and lacking forethought. A reaction often triggers further reactions, resulting in a cascade of unproductive and negative exchanges. On the other hand, a response is measured, calm, and non-threatening. It promotes healthy discussion, even debate, which leads to problem resolution. In contrast to reacting, responding involves listening or watching until the end without interruption, processing the information, and striving to understand the context before taking action.

Life is constantly evolving, and we are bound to face numerous changes and unexpected events throughout our journey. It is important to remember that adapting to these changes is an essential part of personal growth and development. One effective way to adjust to life’s changing events is by staying open-minded and embracing new experiences. Maintaining a positive attitude and a growth mindset can help us view challenging situations as opportunities for learning and personal development. It is also important to focus on what we can control rather than what we cannot. Developing a support system of friends and family can also be helpful, as they can provide guidance and emotional support during difficult times. Lastly, setting realistic goals and breaking them down into smaller steps can help us move forward and feel a sense of accomplishment, even in the face of uncertainty. By being flexible, patient, and proactive, we can learn to navigate life’s ever-changing events with resilience and confidence.

In the workplace one of the things we must keep in mind is that offenses are inevitable and this also true in your personal life as well. Since we spend more time working, we must develop resilience to how we take the things that life brings our way. People more often than not do not think about the long term consequences of their actions or how their action will affect those around them. Reaction is a defense mechanism for people who often feel they are at a disadvantage or uncomfortable. A 2019 Healthline article explains that early humans were exposed to the constant threat of being killed or injured by wild animals or other tribes. To improve chances of survival, the fight-or flight response evolved. It is an automatic response to physical danger that allows you to react quickly without thinking. When you feel threatened and afraid, the amygdala automatically activates the fight-or-flight response by sending out signals to release stress hormones that prepare your body to fight or run away. The amygdala is considered to be part of the brain’s limbic system. It is a key to how you process strong emotions like fear and pleasure, anxiety, aggression and anger. Although reaction is the fastest and easiest way to deal with people and situations, how do you feel after snapping at a coworker, subordinate or an employee who accidentally stepped on your insecurities? Do you think things will go back to the way they used to with them after your anger is gone?

It is never an easy task to respond instead of reacting to a situation or an issue and no one can respond to situations one hundred percent all the time. However, as you keep working on your emotional intelligence (EI), you are able to overcome nearly all hurdles with that soft skill. The good news is that when you keep practicing the correct application of your emotional intelligence, it ultimately becomes a part of you and although reaction is what instinctively comes to mind whenever faced with challenges of such nature, you will think through the consequences of your reaction and respond instead. Emotional intelligence is a very important skill in leadership. Every leader must have and exhibit self-awareness, self-regulation, be able to motivate, lead by example, have empathy and demonstrate social skills in order to create a conducive environment in the workplace; and leadership cuts across all ranks in the workplace, not only at the top.

How do we become more responsive and less reactional? These are four keys that can help stimulate your growth to response instead of reacting:

  1. CONFIDENCE

Confidence is not just about taking action, but also about having the courage to take a chance. It involves being willing to respond rather than react to situations, words, or challenges. Having confidence means taking a bold step, with a clear mind, knowing that the decision you have made is correct and that the most effective outcome will be achieved through a thoughtful response.

  1. CONNECTION

The ability to connect with someone is a combination of factors such as your facial expressions, body language, words, and the way you convey honesty and humanity. Displaying a warm smile and direct eye contact, using appropriate language, and non-verbal cues are all crucial elements in establishing a connection with another person. Additionally, maintaining a positive attitude is a simple yet effective technique to foster a connection. Active listening is another essential component that draws people towards you as it shows that you are fully engaged and interested in their thoughts and feelings. Ultimately, people feel more connected when they sense that you value them and their perspectives.

  1. COMPOSURE

Be calm and control yourself from interrupting when observing or hearing until it gets to the end. Whether it is a confrontation or provocation, remember to stay composed, still remembering your confidence. Observe or listen to the very end, processing what the person actually said and the context in order to respond with clarity.

  1. COMFORT

When you exude confidence and approach others with a positive attitude, you create a comfortable environment for your colleagues, clients, superiors, and subordinates to communicate with you. By staying composed and refraining from reacting impulsively, you help to minimize uncertainty and anxiety when others come to you to share information. This can be especially important in a professional setting where open communication is crucial for success. When you establish a calm and approachable demeanor, others will feel more comfortable and confident in approaching you, knowing that their concerns and ideas will be heard and valued.

Responding to life’s situation instead of reacting will cause a positivity that will carry you through your journey. Remember you are the only one that can define you in your work and you have confidence, connection, composure and comfort to help you succeed.

Are ready to stand out and lead your Image?

Read my book: “The Essentials of Image Leadership”.

Designed with practical exercises for home or office,

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