“The chicken is never declared innocent in the court of hawks.” – Ghanaian proverb
Thanks to our senses, we can detect and understand all the stimuli around us. They allow us to feel and receive information about what goes on around us; and then we are able to process that information to form a perception of the world. However, of all the stimuli which are present in our surroundings, we are only able to sense a part of them each time. This means at every point in time our perceptions are subjective to what our senses send to us. Sadly, that is our reality. Our limitations as humans means that as individuals we cannot fully comprehend all of what is, as it really is.
That part of the stimuli we experience presents us with flattering filters of information which keep us thrilled and curious about life. That is why many individuals do not take kindly to facing the fact their knowledge is not complete. It is not pleasant to know that we are always missing out on something. This unpleasantness often makes us project ourselves as more knowledgeable than we are. Sometimes, we ask ourselves: what if that we are missing out on is the real deal? This creates a fear that pushes us to say “yes” when we would rather say “no”. And most often, we justify our “yes” with a resigned shrug – “I have to do it”.
Sometimes saying “yes” pays off, and other times it does not. But mostly it does not. Our “yes” is usually bloated with hope of positivism. We look forward to the amazing stuff that could happen to us, yet we end up with the usual menu. Let us be real, our “yes” often means the people who usually tell stories will end up telling the same stories. Those who usually dance will do the dancing. And even if it rains, you will still not find the courage to dance in it. Bottom line, our “yeses” are usually a repeat of what happened the last time. You probably would have a new experience with a “no”. Next time, say “no”; you never know what could be waiting for you inside the goody-bag.
The frequent “yeses” are killing us. We have become a consuming society with a phobia that makes us insecure when we utter the word “no”. The fear of missing out keeps us stuck in the box. We are always hoping for some real ‘out-of-the-box’ action with an ‘inside-the-box’ mentality. But what do we miss when we miss out on some of the stimuli when we form our perceptions? In truth, nothing – what you see is what life is offering you. It offers you an extra when you strive to get nothing more than what meets the eye. That is the reward you get from taking risks.
The feeling of missing out comes when you listen to those individuals who talk about stuff with such passion the fire in you glows. Such individuals are gifted. They can fill in the gaps with tweets that can make even the birds stop and ogle. They are naturally good at stimulating your interest and exciting you about inquisitiveness and participative-ness. Thus, they always find ways of translating your absence as missing out on the real action. It is only a perception.
What we must do is learn to take control of the impacts stimuli around have on us. Strange as it might seem at first, perception analysis holds the key to enhancing our ‘personal market value’ and improving our own self-esteem. Let us not forget that our perceptions have a powerful influence on how we behave (or how we do not behave) and the feeling of triumph associated to it. Our perceptions define how we are think about issues, act on priorities, relate to our environment and achieve substance. Its consequential impact is a total holding of our minds. The way to break this is to become a seeker of truth. You should be willing to go the extra mile to break the surface of scenarios.
Living is an adventure. And an adventure means taking risks or making crazy choices. We always must choose between taking this path or that path. It is either a “yes” or “no” affair. Grey areas are not part of the adventure. They are for cowards; for those who must wait for the path to be carved before they follow. The brave know that they must make a choice; and whichever decision they make, they will miss out on something. But life is such that we can perceive our adventure either as a forced trip or a learning opportunity. There are no specific road maps, but nonetheless you can create your own map. What you choose determines what you prioritise. What’s important is never letting the fear of missing out hold you ransom to saying “yes” to someone else’s perception…
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Kodwo Brumpon is a partner at Brumpon & Kobla Ltd., a forward-thinking Pan African management consultancy and social impact firm driven by data analytics with a focus on understanding the extraordinary potential and needs of organisations and businesses to help them cultivate synergies which catapult them into strategic growth and certify their sustainability.
Comments, suggestions and requests for talks and training should be sent to him at kodwo@brumponand kobla.com
