“A proverb is the mirror of the community.” – African proverb
The search for trust no doubt counts among the best and most wonderful qualities sought in our long search for a better world. We know, to the point where it has almost become instinctual, that for any honourable human relationship to exist, trust should be present. It is a quality that gives us the right to count on people. As one author summarised it: “Trust is the foundation for everything we do; and if we can learn to trust one another more, we can have unprecedented human progress”. We cannot separate trust from our quest to dignify our humanity. It is a necessary ingredient.
Interestingly, recent surveys on trust in many societies the world over show it is languishing at historic low levels. From politics to business to religion, people have become sceptical about their leaders – and even their peers. And why not? Most of us project phony attitudes and characters wherever we are. Our relationships are cemented with what authors Solomon and Flores describe as “cordial hypocrisy”. This is a scenario wherein we pretend to trust others when we do not. We have become so untrusting it is terrifying to tell each other the truths we know about ourselves. Can you imagine what truths we tell about issues?
We have trust-issues because our words generally do not match actions. Many of us have forgotten that life comes out of words. They serve as the foundation for measuring actions. Thus, when our words do not align with our actions we tell the world we cannot be trusted. With many of us displaying this misaligned attitude, we are surely creating an environment of behavioural unreliability. Sadly, in our everyday interactions, we are always being asked to trust in a person, a process or even a system we barely know beyond the shallow expression of their words. We have used the ‘trust’ word so often its significance has been corroded, and its connotations mean different things to different people.
However, we need to understand that trust is a quality we desperately need if we desire to improve the state of life and life itself. It is what we need in our decisions, judgments and risks. Without it, we create challenges for ourselves. Trust is like “a friend is a person before whom we can strip our ideal self in order to reveal the real self, vulnerable and imperfect, and yet trust that it will not diminish the friend’s admiration and sincere affection for the whole self, comprising both the ideal and the real”. It allows us to share “without fear of judgment, our most serious flaws and the most agonizing instances of falling short of our own ideals and values”.
Such understanding pushes building and maintaining trust as a necessity, in the same range as making sure the air we breathe is clean. And we ought to start with being authentic to our own selves. Our word should be our bond. When we are real with ourselves people notice, and they are more likely to trust you. That way we create an environment of honesty and reliability, which goes a long way to build goodwill for us and inspires others to be vulnerable with us. Showcasing your authentic self is an attitude synonymous with you creating an arena where trust is the currency.
Another way to build and maintain trust is to cultivate empathy and direct people to those we interact with and relate to. When people perceive that you care about them, they take more risks with you and around you. They are willing to be open and talk freely, a sign that they trust you and want you to reciprocate the same attitude toward them. To empathise means you are sensitive to the daily challenges of others, and you strive to appreciate the socio-cultural dynamics which affect their attitudes and operations. If you can operate on that level with others, your good intentions and willingness to make their lives better will mean a lot more to them, and they will reciprocate with a similar attitude. When we empathise with others, we open the door for them to trust us.
We cannot talk about trust without talking about objectivity. We make sense of our surrounding through our logic. It is the objectiveness in our logic that shapes trust-relationships. Stomach-directed conversations have for too long prevented us from building the trust we need in our society. It is time we started being objective about issues and events. Objectivity is like gravitational force. Beyond being a mark of intelligence, its presence in any environment inspires people to lower their defensive mechanisms and lifts apathy into passion. It builds collective relationships, engagement, innovation and well-being. And when such qualities are present, we have great trust.
Building and maintaining trust is a continuous process. But it is something we need to continually work on to enable us live freely and meaningfully. Instead of commodifying trust and putting a price tag on it, let us strive to make it as essential as the air we breathe and make it generously available for all… so that all of us can live without the constant scheming and watching over our shoulders. History teaches us that societies which make progress first build a foundation of trust. Let us be wise and imitate such successes…
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Kodwo Brumpon is a partner at Brumpon & Kobla Ltd., a forward-thinking Pan African management consultancy and social impact firm driven by data analytics with a focus on understanding the extraordinary potential and needs of organisations and businesses to help them cultivate synergies that catapult them into their strategic growth and certify their sustainability.
Comments, suggestions and requests for talks and training should be sent to him at kodwo@brumponand kobla.com
