The world is evolving faster each day and the busyness at the workplace keeps increasing; in fact there never seem to be enough time to get things done. Technology has taken over our lives so much that when it comes to work, relationship has sadly become the one thing that gets sacrificed so much. We get so much focused on business, company or organissational goals and work hard at our professional relationships to achieve that, while neglecting personal relationship which is a necessity for winning in our work lives. The importance of building strong personal relationships applies to all areas of life, both personal and professional. What we normally forget is that no worker can function well in the workplace when their personal relationship is suffering.
To get to higher heights in leadership at work, good personal relationships should matter to you right from your family to your employees, peers, bosses, management, subordinates and clients. There must be actual connection with them that is not on the work level to be able to continuously succeed in your work life. People often push their personal relationship to the ‘later’ zone which has the tendency to be forgotten time after time as they keep procrastinating when to start building it. The excuse of ‘not having enough time’ is one of the biggest lie people tell themselves. You must make time for it just as you are able to make time for work-related activities.
Forbes explains personal relationships as double-edged swords. Personal relationships at work build trust, and that trust often enables productivity, giving people the latitude to operate at their best. Empathy and understanding in the workplace are extremely valuable characteristics to help identify and balance organisational weaknesses. More companies encourage referrals from employee networks, and rising generations of workers are increasingly committed to finding environments that match both their personal and professional interests. However, when business becomes too personal, it can lead to decisions that honour individual relationships over holistic business goals and needs.
We have all likely worked with a friend and experienced one of the following scenarios:
- You took advantage of each other’s trust and failed to approach a situation the way you would have with another coworker.
- You worried about pushing for clarification or stopped yourself from discussing expectations.
- You avoided having a tough conversation at the risk of upsetting a friend.
Having personal relationships at work should make your job even more rewarding. But being an effective leader takes self-awareness, willingness to create boundaries and the ability to compartmentalise your business versus personal relationships. Leaders are tasked with countering ambiguity and ensuring every employee feels empowered, respected and heard.
I keep telling those I engage with that the pandemic has deepened, as well as widened the gap in in-person interactions, and there is as such a greater need to consciously reconnect relationships, especially personal ones, which are so important and yet easily relegated. Bob Stein rightly puts it when he said: “Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grow.” As you move higher on the corporate ladder, the stakes become higher, the deals become bigger, everything becomes important and you come to the realisation that leadership is all about people. This is the reason why just like your career, you must remember that relationships are work too and must be treated as such, no matter which level you find yourself at the workplace. Just as you would expect from others, people must be able to deal with you and feel confident you can be trusted to deliver or get the job done.
Solid relationships are crucial when it comes to motivating employees to want to work beyond just receiving their take-home pay, and doing simply that which is necessary. When workers do not feel connected in a workplace, they end up searching for their next job. Cultivating personal relationships with employees is also a pre-cursor to building great relationships with your customers. Leaders who are disconnected with their teams are usually not be able to relate well with their customers.
I have mentioned before that based on research, more of our waking hours or one-third of our lives are spent at work than we do with our families. Do you now see the more reason why you must make every effort to stay connected in your personal relationships by intentionally making time to nurture it, especially in these times? When you are able to build personal relationships in your personal life effectively, it will become easy to do same with your professional relationships for the maximum benefits that it has the power to bring to the business, company or organisation.
Let us consider 4 points shared by projekt202 that can help on the personal relationship journey:
- Knowing and caring during your work interactions
For example, at the beginning of any work meeting, take 5-15 minutes to check in with everyone around the table. Ask about their celebrations, challenges or struggles. If you have heavy things on your mind and heart, it is hard to focus at work; engaging with others on those thoughts may help you know what you can put on their plates without overwhelming them even more. In turn, this makes them feel cared for. Out of awareness, you will know how to serve them well in whatever capacity is needed.
People may argue that you do not need to bring your personal business to work, but that is a myth. The truth is, you do bring your personal business to work. So, as a leader or team member, either be overt and acknowledge it openly, or unknowingly miss opportunities to bond with others. For instance, you may end up dumping an extra workload on someone who just received some negative news about a family member. That will make them feel even more overwhelmed and uncared for. The emotions will come out at some point regardless, so why not deal with the matter openly? By taking time to get to know your employees, you will learn more about them and can show empathy. When you really show that you care, they begin to trust you and want to stay on your team.
- Building a mutually trusting relationship
Another common myth is that if you are a leader, you need to be invulnerable. Truth is, you cannot trust people you do not know. You must know and care, and be vulnerable and open, as you hope they will be with you. If you are a leader, you should set the example. These first two steps will expose whether a leader is willing or not to be mutually vulnerable. It is a quick way to tell if someone is all about themselves or if they genuinely care about getting to know others. You want people that go the extra mile on your teams, but most will not do this voluntarily, so be the one who presses in and invests in others. Trust is key to attracting strong talent and it is only built by taking time to invest in getting to know someone. It is like anything else – dating, parenting, teaching, serving, or building – if you do not have the trust of the one you are targetting, your time is wasted.
- Experience joint shared vision and joint accomplishment
Get it done as a team. Most corporate teams try to go to this third step first. Most corporations have solid intentions in shared visions with their teams, and collaboration methods for accomplishment. However, they have not walked through the first two steps so the results can be painful, and will eventually cause increased pressure. Inevitably, when pressure increases, the team will fracture under the stress.
- opportunities that come through increased creativity and deepened connectivity
This step is where you have eliminated most of the fear of any members on the team. Fear comes from not trusting others and from fear of failure. Team members are now positioned to put their best strengths into play and know where they are needed, shared and enjoyed by all others on the team. This is where true creativity begins to happen within the organisation. When these steps have all been walked through, deepened creativity will be set free. They have built the trust and accomplished something together.
There is a known saying that: “We start from the known to the unknown”, so I will encourage you to start building your personal relationships now because the results will translate into your work and the goal of higher productivity which every business, company or organisation desires will be achieved. The journey of personal relationships starts with a decision, and an action after the decision has been made. Make time for, and work on your personal relationships just as you work on your professional ones. I had to make that decision at one point in my life; and although it takes time to build these relationships, you will begin to find out that the outcome is surprisingly very rewarding for your work life as well.
‘The Essentials of Image Leadership’, which is my current book on sale, will help you to know yourself well and how you can use that knowledge to start a practical personal relationship plan and execution. Grab one for yourself, your family, employees, your team-mates and colleagues at work so that no one is left behind on this all-important project.
Are you ready to stand out and lead your Image?
Read my book: “The Essentials of Image Leadership”.
Designed with practical exercises for home or office,
This book gives you all the essential tips and
Tools needed to sail with success in your image.
It also touches on dining etiquette,
Ensuring that in every space you find yourself,
You make a personal impact and achieve influence.
