Emotional intelligence: building social skills for better inter-personal relationships

public speaking and presentation
Samuel Agyeman-Prempeh, a Communications Strategist

Emotional intelligence borders more on an individual and when you acquire it for yourself, you are able to extend it to your workplace, family, church, etc. In emotional intelligence, one thing you should do is know yourself. What is your personality? Are you a feeler or a thinker? How do you adjust your personality to suit situations? In figuring this out, we reduce conflicts. Emotional intelligence behoves us to consciously decide to improve ourselves.

In becoming emotionally intelligent, we learn to be more intentional. Let understanding be your guide; recognise that people do not have the same personality as you. This ability gives you room to be more tolerant. Emotional intelligence describes how we know and understand ourselves and then, how we understand other people.

The main issue is that not everybody understands themselves. In this same way, not everybody understands other people. The concept of emotional intelligence starts with us and then with other people. In pinpointing the benefits of emotional intelligence in our everyday interaction with others, we improve on:


Your reactions matter. Every time we interact with others, we may be faced with unpleasant situations that we would react negatively towards. That is why emotional intelligence matters. Even though we have the right to react how we want in every situation, we must also learn to apply some amount of decorum to our reactions.

For some people, there are a number of things they do not apply much thought to. It could be as simple as giving someone a dirty look because he/she didn’t respond to our greeting or as complicated as giving a colleague a slap as a form of retaliation for a wrong done. These reactions are usually not calculated hence, thinking before reacting is a step toward emotional intelligence.


It is how we feel. Feelings are often controlled by situations, events and words. Emotionally intelligent individuals have control over their feelings in the face of even the most challenging of situations. In the same way, they can regulate the feelings of others by toning down their expressions where applicable. Even though we don’t see the feelings, we can sense them and put in some work to manage them. For instance, a waiter can apologise for the delay in serving a dish before a customer calls him to give a complaint. This helps to calm the customer even before they get angry.


Expressions help us to interpret the emotions of others. It also helps others to interpret our emotions. Our expressions during our interactions with others may make an already bad situation worse or turn it around for the better. Emotionally intelligent individuals are measured in their expressions.


There is no emotional intelligence without control. This is largely linked to reactions and how we can regulate reactions. The whole concept of emotional intelligence rests largely on controlling ourselves, reactions, and actions.

Showing how we care about somebody has a way of satisfying and regulating their emotions.


Empathy requires that you put yourself in the shoes of others in order to understand their emotions. We can show empathy by imbibing and following these rules:

The Golden rule says, “Do unto others as you want others to do unto you”.

The platinum rule says, “Do unto others as they wish done unto them”.

By putting ourselves in the shoes of others and being more understanding of their reactions, we avoid a lot of unnecessary conflicts.

While emotional intelligence is important for our peaceful interaction with others, it is a skill that many lack or are not aware of. Learning how to be emotionally intelligent should be done from infancy, repeatedly and intentionally with children as it is easier to teach a child to manage his emotions than it is with an adult. As the saying implies, you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. Some adults are so set in their ways that it is almost impossible to resocialise them.

>>>the writer is a corporate trainer, book publishing consultant and professional ghostwriter assisting busy executives to write and publish their books, articles, and speeches. He has served as Head of Protocol at a diplomatic mission, Corporate Affairs Officer at a French multinational agribusiness and as Events and Media Correspondent for a digital ad agency. You can contact the author via: [email protected]

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