Discovery Leadership Masterclass Series with Frank Adu Anim: Sustaining the marriage order

Discovery Leadership Masterclass Series with Frank Adu Anim: Sustaining the marriage order
  • …LGBT and matters arising

Most of the world’s chaotic situations arise out of failed systems and practices occasioned to champion and guide our conducts and purposes. If the thing had to be sustained, it must orient to show strong foundation anchored on great principles and pillars to stand the endurance test at all times. Systems, Foundations, principles and conducts would all be tested someday to determine whether it received a solid start, foundation and or resilient enough to weather the storms.

Every journey looks promising, rosy, great and hopeful anticipation with high optimism for a lasting and enduring ending. The obvious inclination is that little room is made to entertain the question of the probable choices of action likely to be taken when the adverse effects resurrect in the middle of the sojourn. Can you imagine the sun failing to appear and darkness reluctantly refusing to give way for the morning to come? The obvious expectation is that the sun will always shine.

Imagine God failing to be God for a day and the dire consequences for the universe? For His words (God) sustain it. The world operates with systems created by God so are the orderly instructions outlined in His word regarding marriage, family union and all other teachings that have their roots in the word of God for guidance, counselling and support.

Issues of gay rights and freedom have predominantly centered our national discourse in recent times and joining in the discussion is of great essence. Discovery leadership speaks to the matter from the point of understanding the biblical underpinnings and foundation to the marriage union order. The institution of marriage as a union is between a man and a woman and so who engineered the other pairings? And for what purposes, intentions and benefits? Let’s talk sustaining the marriage order…LGBT and matters arising.

What is Marriage?

Marriage is a legally and socially sanctioned union, usually between a man and a woman, that is regulated by laws, rules, customs, beliefs and attitudes that prescribe the rights and duties of the partners and accords status to their offspring if any. The universality of marriage within different societies and cultures is attributed to the many basic social and personal functions for which it provides structure such as sexual gratification and regulation, division of labor between the sexes, economic production and consumption, affection, status and companionship.

Its strongest function concerns procreation, care of children and their education and socialization and regulation of lines of descent. The main legal function of marriage is to ensure the rights of the partners with respect to each other are defined including the relationships of children within a community.

From its beginnings, Christianity has emphasized the spiritual nature of marriage. The bible speaks about marriage as being instituted by God and most Christians consider it a permanent union based upon mutual consent between a man and a woman. And so can we call a union from same sex marriage?

Cultural and Marriage:

Culture extends beyond race and ethnicity to include religious, political and other aspects of society. For example individual perception of sexuality and sexual orientation can be influenced by the religious and political background of their community and society. Significantly, culture can also influence an individual’s perception and expectations regarding marriage and family.

In cultures where there’s a clear division of rights and responsibilities based on gender or sex, husbands and wives have distinct roles. Households where both husband and wife pursue their own careers and ambitions for instance subvert these traditional culture expectations and are seen as disruptive. Cultures that prioritize individualism embraces gayism and same sex marriage.

Today’s world and the dynamics of changes in culture, institutions and governments have seen the introduction of different sets of world order, that have the tenets of dehumanizing, setting aside and embracing foreign materials that do not have their roots based on the original intent and foundation of Gods system order.

Today’s world is okaying the joining together a male and a male, a female and a female as couples with systems, institutions, rights built to endorse this new order as acceptable, promising and entertaining. The progressive move of this new order seems rapid, endearing, welcoming and pleasurable to many who are burnt on promoting its sustenance for money, pleasure, sense of belonging, fame etc.

What then happens to the God order of marriage which saw in the garden of Eden Adam (man) requested for Eve (woman) as a wife? When the new order threatens the survival of the old order which is unbiblical and unscriptural, our generation is queered into fear especially when we basically cannot know all that goes on in the learning space of our children, friends they are engaging and associations that reflect their influence.

When husbands fail to admit to the call of duty of providing shelter, food and everything that brings the presence of God into the family, we have chaotic situations. It’s of great essence likewise to admit that the woman equally has the moral duty of seeing to align in duty and in purpose, the reasons and intentions for which Adam made the first call for a woman.

Many unforeseen factors may surface along the journey of marriage to give threats to its survival, promising notes and expectations which were obviously not wished for but have the potential to test the couples loyalty, trustworthiness, faithfulness, love, commitments and assuring reliability for each other. Remember, the beginning presents hopes, optimisms, trust and the readiness for a fight to surmount any ugly circumstances that may rear its head. The middle or somewhere along the journey showcases truly different options where the couples ability to fight the battle of faith to keep, preserve, endure in defense of the goals and mission upon which the marriage journey started.

The question is when trust is broken in this sublime part of the journey what do you do? If you were attracted to the man for instance by his estates and all the good things around him and he eventually loose them in the course of the marriage journey, what would you do as a woman? And if you are a man, can you remain faithful to your wife alone in spite of multiple proposals of amorous relationships that may throw opportunities at your feet?

I have always admitted that though the beginning is important to prepare but the middle is strategically and cautiously crucial to be looked at, anticipated and reflected upon. (The middle of the sea is dangerously scary than the shores). Marriage couples could only be admonished and better still advised to constantly seek to engage, pursue, and fight together at this frontier.

Another interesting feature festering in today’s marriage is the characteristics of unfaithfulness, corrupt mindsets and wrong notion about what constitute the marriage institution. The current dispensation has made marriage counselling a formality and without an occasioned or institutionalized post marriage capacity building workshops to retool the couples to stay the journey. The new order of corrupt and disingenuous practices sees the decline of morally acceptable behavior thrown to the dogs.

Both men and women cheats whiles they remain married, man fails to honor marriage vows, the woman totally changes to embrace all new sets of unwarranted behavior simply because she cannot manage the things of the deep sea. At the deep sea level, everything is made to seem hopeless without solution.

The question that still begs for answers is that, why should a fellow man go for his counter party man as a wife? Men are failing women and women continually remaining unreasonable, nonunderstanding and cheating. When the generation is perverse, it takes only God to change their hearts.

The call for change obviously would have to be championed by the Church and other well-meaning religious bodies with high interest to avert this unscrupulous new world order by initiating a strong couples engagements in retreats to teach, enhance good moral examples, address marital problems and challenges that may erupt the boat in the marriage deep sea.

Arguably, great achievements in the marriage are normally realized in the ‘deep seas’ (advance stages) from the shores of the marriage expedition, hence the need for serious dedication to prayer, constant communication, openness, sacrifices and the selfless will to preserve and protect the vows made.

LGBT is alien, devilish, unscriptural and demonic and self- condemning practice. Beware!

May the Lord be with us.

Discovery….Thinking solutions, shaping visions.


The writer is the CEO and Strategic Partner of AQUABEV Investment and Discovery Consulting Group. He is an Executive Director and the Lead Coach in Leadership Development and best Business Management practices for Discovery Leadership Masterclass.



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7th October, 2021





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