Dial a Counselor with Sybil Shaibu: What’s your take on PDA?

Dial a Counselor with Sybil Shaibu: What’s your take on PDA?

For some very weird or should I rather say interesting reason, I’m a sucker for abbreviations and acronyms. So the very first time I came across this one, it drew my attention right away and I went straight into reading about it. But before I delve into this, kindly indulge me a bit while I let you in on a bit of my personal life.

Growing up I was very timid and reserved for that matter, most of the time you’d find me by myself. Fast forward to late teens and early adulthood, like any other young lady I had my share of struggles with issues to do with growing up. And while still on the journey of finding myself, I learnt about my love language.

Like me then, I’m sure quite a number of you now aren’t aware of what your love language is. Nor the important role it plays in your relationships at all levels and your life in its entirety. If per chance you’d like to get to know what your love language is, there’s a book by an Author called Gary Chapman titled “The 5 love languages”, should be your go to.

So stemming from knowing my love language, it came as no surprise when I realized my interest in PDA. It’s a rather interesting topic of discussion in general but more so in this part of our world.

PDA is an abbreviation for Public Display of Affection, and yes African’s also like to display affection. I can guess where your mind might be wandering to, but stay with me. Each one of us, human as we are naturally have an inclination to desiring some level of affection. And that’s because we are social beings, as such it’s absolutely normal to desire affection of any kind.

What then is affection? Affection is defined as a gentle feeling of fondness or liking. A feeling of liking and caring for someone or something. Some say that affection is the first step towards love. People show affection differently, and that’s also another reason why it’s imperative to know your love language. Affection is more than just an emotion, it can be considered by some as a requirement in healthy relationships. Be it, a pat on the back, a kiss, hug, a phone call, text or chat, affection is the way we show others in our lives how important they are in our world.

It can be easy to assume that affection is a type of emotion, but affection much like emotion, is a connection between two people. A kind of social interaction that can exist on varying levels, we can have need for affection with just anyone or anything. You can have affection for your parents, family, friends, loved ones and even pets. The interesting thing about our need for affection though is that, it can have varying degrees of intensities, depending on each kind of relationship.

Affection and emotion seem closely related, but in reality they’re different. Emotion is something attributed internally, while affection is something that you tend to “give” someone. According to biopsychology.com, basically, affection is work, while emotion is something that just happens within in.

Why do we need affection?

I think the first and foremost reason why we need affection is because we’re human. As such we need to give and receive affection as it’s the humane thing to do. Affection…..

  • Makes us feel secured and wanted by another individual.
  • The need for affection solidifies our desire to know we are compatible with another human being, even if the relationship is on the friendship level.
  • It creates a sense of harmony in a relationship, especially when it comes to intimate ones.
  • It releases plenty of feel-good hormones, being affectionate reduces stress hormones.
  • Giving and receiving affection means understanding our own emotional boundaries.

Showing affection doesn’t come easy to everyone and it’s possible to encounter someone who’s unable to express affection. It’s for this reason that I feel there’s the need to know and understand yourself as a person.

Hopefully, in the subsequent articles I would delve more into the topic of PDA. It promises to make an interesting read and worth your while.

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