Dial a Counselor with Sybil Shaibu: Are you resilient? Part 2


Pillars of Resiliency

When the chips are down, you need to pick yourself up. Picking yourself up requires a great deal of resilience. The good news is that, even if you’re not born a resilient person, you can learn to develop a resilient mindset and attitude towards life. In as much as resilience is basically “bouncing back” from challenging situations, it also involves profound personal growth. So it means that, with resiliency comes growth…..there you have it, another reason to desire developing resilience.

However, being resilient doesn’t mean that a person won’t experience difficulties. Though certain factors might make some individuals more resilient than others, resilience isn’t necessarily a personality trait that only some people possess. So before you jump to the conclusion that you were not born with a resilient gene, everyone and I mean everyone can learn to be resilient.

That’s because resilience involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn and develop. And the ability to learn resilience is one reason research has shown that resilience is ordinary, not extraordinary. Meaning you don’t need to be a genius or have an extremely high level of intelligence to develop resilience.

The fact that a person is resilient doesn’t mean that you’re all sufficient. Resilience is also about knowing when to ask for help, asking for help doesn’t make you weak rather it means you’re strong. Not only strong but resilient as well, because you know asking for help will enable you to keep going and not give up.

Adapting the five pillars of resilience is a way to reframe your thinking so that you can see yourself and the world around you in new ways. By developing and strengthening the resilient pillars, you in turn, become more resilient. So rather than experiencing a feeling of being overwhelmed when you go through challenges that stress you, these pillars come together to help you work your way through. Thereby lifting you up and out of the chaos of the stress you’re going through.

Resilience is made up of five keys pillars namely: Self Awareness, Mindfulness, Self-care, Positive relationships and Purpose.

  • Self Awareness-Is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengthens, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation and emotions. Self awareness allows you to understand other people, how they perceive you, your attitude and your response to them in the moment. Noticing what is going on around you and inside your head.
  • Mindfulness-Is a state of active open attention on the present. When you’re mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience. Being able to interpret the events that are going on in a rational way.
  • Self care-It’s unique for each person and can be understood in many different ways. In its simplest form, the term refers to our ability as human beings to function effectively in the world while meeting the multiple challenges of daily life with a sense of energy, vitality and confidence. Self care is initiated and maintained by us as individuals, it requires our active engagement.
  • Positive Relationships-Are the people who support and care for us and we care for them. One of the most profound experiences we can have in our lives is the connection we have with other human beings. By building positive relationships with others, we will be happier and more fulfilled and feel more supported, supportive and connected. Positive and supportive relationships will help us to feel loved, healthier, happier and more satisfied with our lives.
  • Purpose-Purpose is a recognition that we belong to and serve something bigger than ourselves. Our purpose helps to shape the mindset and attitude we have toward others and the events we experience. We can find purpose in our faith, family, a political party, a chosen course, or being a part of an organization like the Lions Club, Rotary etc.

Interestingly, these pillars are things most of us are already familiar with, so i trust that it won’t be difficult to develop as time goes along. But it would require that you be intentional.

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