Dial a Counselor with Sybil Shaibu: Feeling guilty? (Part 2)


Last week I did a part one of this article and this week’s edition is the concluding part. You can check out from BFT online in case you missed it. Let’s take a look at some other things that many of us tend to feel guilty about, hopefully by the end you’d be well informed to decipher if your guilt is justified or not.

  1. Your dreams and aspirations

Our lives are driven by our desire to fulfill our life’s dreams and aspirations. These dreams and aspirations shape our lives to a very large extent. Having dreams and aspirations helps you plan your life. So why feel guilty about that? If you don’t have any dreams or aspirations for your life, other people will push theirs on you. Having purpose for your life is nothing to feel guilty about, go all out in pursuit of your happiness. You only live once so no room for feeling guilty for having dreams and aspirations.

  1. Your spiritual beliefs

Spirituality, religion, culture and beliefs form part of the pillars that constitute the core of humanity. Regardless of your race, gender, age or background, you will certainly have your own spiritual beliefs. This is because as a people we are wired in such a way that naturally we ascribe to a superior being. No one should be discriminated against or marginalized because of their spiritual beliefs. To ascribe to a spiritual belief, a person would have had enough conviction; as such you shouldn’t feel guilty. At any point in time should these spiritual beliefs be altered, you adjust. Feeling guilty about your spiritual beliefs is equal to feeling guilty for your very existence.

  1. Removing someone from your life

Our lives are made up of relationships with people on various levels. By virtue of how life is, there are some people in your life you can just not cut off. And sometimes coming to such a realization can be quite unsettling, but there’s nothing you can do about that. However, when dealing with those people that you can remove from your life, you shouldn’t feel guilty. You need to understand that people come and leave, some leave by themselves. I’m sure like me some of you might have been hurt by some people leaving your life.

On the other hand, there are those that you have to remove from your life, this is by virtue of one reason or the other. Once you get to the point where you decide that someone needs to be removed from your life, go ahead and do it with no guilt at all. They have served their purpose and it’s time for them to go to pave the way for those that you need for the next level or face of your life.

  1. Spending money on something you want

Money sure does make the world go around, so why feel guilty for spending? Trust me when I say I’ve struggled with this for so long, that’s because of the fear of not having money. It took me a long while to get myself to the point where I could spend my own hard-earned money without guilt. Like me you sure will have justified reasons for your guilt, but that’s where planning comes in. Once your spending is justified, go ahead and enjoy. We work so hard to make money and so why allow the feeling of guilt deprive you of enjoying the fruits of your labor.

  1. Setting boundaries and sticking to them

Each one of us have our own defense mechanisms and setting boundaries is one that helps a great deal. There’s the need to have order in your life to enable you be productive. It’s not easy to set boundaries and it’s even more difficult to stick to them. I applaud you for being able to set and stick to them, there’s no shame there. People will try to undermine your boundaries, stand your ground and stick them. And it’s just for this reason that you should not feel guilty for doing so.

Life can be tough so as much as possible lessen the burden by not allowing guilt to rob you of your joy.

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