Sybil Shaibu column: What are the hard truths?


Life and living as we’ve come to know is one roller coaster ride, full of highlights and low lights. At best life can be described as a learning curve, not sure if we all knowledge that though. But one thing is certain life is certainly an ongoing process, at every point you experience successes, failures, wins and losses.

Hence you keep learning till you eventually come to the end of your circle of life. To be able to see life through to the end, there’s the need to come to terms with certain hard truths. What makes them hard truths is basically because it has to do with self-care.

  1. You will disappoint some people when you prioritize your self-care

You’re the only one that knows you through and through, hence the right person to know what’s good for you. Making yourself a priority means putting yourself first and though it sounds easy it’s far from that. Self care often means doing what you don’t feel like doing in the present moment to befit the future you. You need to understand that you can’t please people all the time, neither can you please all the people in your life. So do what you know is good for you, when you need it while you need it.

  1. Your boundaries will scare some people away

It’s okay. Let them go. People don’t do too well with boundaries, it’s simply because people just don’t like restrictions. Not being open to doing any and everything can be given diverse interpretations. Safe guarding your peace and mental health is a decision that needs to be made. And setting boundaries is one way of attaining a great deal of structure and consistency in your life. People like it when they have full access to you always, hence in setting boundaries some people will most definitely leave your life. People and you….who do you choose?

  1. Don’t neglect yourself taking care of someone else

People expect you to be loyal and committed to loving and caring for others, as a sign of being a caring person. Don’t get me wrong, but you don’t owe anyone your time. It’s hard to give what you don’t have hence how do you care for others when you don’t care for yourself?

Neglecting yourself to take care of somebody else may seem like an act of love, but giving from a place of emptiness only leads to resentment towards the other person, and eventually towards yourself. Care for other people but don’t allow that service to rob you of the care you give yourself. The number one rule of self care is to care for yourself first before caring for others.

  1. Self-care requires letting go of relationships, habits and choices that are familiar but no longer serve you

It’s an inevitable hard truth that not all our choices and decisions yield the most productive results in our lives. In order to avert such future blunders, you must be honest with yourself and do the needed self assessment. Ascertain which relationships are working, habits and choices that are beneficial, and do yourself a favor by discarding all those which aren’t yielding the needed results.

Discarding things isn’t easy but holding on to something that’s of no value is equally useless. Especially when you’ve adapted to the situation or person for so long, it’s very tough letting go and that truth is hard to admit. But striving to be a better version of you requires a tougher you, so take that bold step. And if it doesn’t add value to your life why hold on to it?

  1. Self-care is hardest to do when you need it most and that’s the hard truth

Many a time when you need to be there for you, is when so many things are vying for your attention. You feel tired, stressed and drained but making time to rest and rejuvenate seems impossible. But the irony however is that, it’s at that time that you need to care for yourself the most. That makes it even more relevant and useful to you, so no matter how hard it seems, do all you can do for you.

Leave a Reply