By R. Esi ASANTE(PhD)
Emotions are the responses we have to things happening around us. They are sometimes used interchangeably with mood and feelings, which is a common misunderstanding.
Emotions like hunger give rise to feelings, however moods are more like fleeting states of low intensity emotions, like wrath in response to insults.
Every one of us has feelings and behaviours that are shaped by our individual and collective experiences.
Emotions are multi-faceted and dynamic; they influence our mental and physical well-being and, in turn, our actions. When making decisions, we face the risk of allowing our emotions to overpower us.
Emotions play a significant role in our day-to-day lives and decision-making since they govern our reactions to others and the world around us.
Consequently, our emotions dictate our decision-making process. Our emotional experiences are the source of these sentiments. The article’s focus is on emotions and the abilities necessary to control them.
Just what are emotions?
Emotions are defined by the American Psychological Association (APA) as “the subjective experience of strong feelings, often directed toward a specific object, that are normally accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body.” This type of emotion includes feelings like anger and terror.
According to Hockenbury & Hockenbury (2007), there are three separate parts to an emotional state: the subjective experience, the physiological response, and the behavioral or expressive response.
From little, everyday occurrences like shaking hands to large, life-altering ones like losing a loved one, Kendra (2023) argues that our subjective experiences can elicit a wide spectrum of unique emotions.
The reaction of the autonomic nerve system to the emotion we’re feeling causes the physiological response.
Among its functions is the regulation of the “fight or flight” reaction and other automatic physiological reactions. When we’re scared, for example, our hearts beat faster, which is a physical manifestation of this.
According to Kendra (2023), the behavioral response component of emotional responses is the actual manifestation of the feeling.
This component can take numerous forms, ranging from smiling and grimacing to laughing and sighing, among many others, depending on individual traits and social standards. The way we act is influenced by our upbringing and societal standards.
Being aware of our emotions is crucial because they help us survive in our surroundings and have many different functions. To start, being emotionally and socially knowledgeable can help us adapt to our situations, and knowing our emotions can help us regulate them.
Are our emotions something we can manage or control?
A lack of emotional regulation and unpleasant emotions might set in when we are unable to cope with stressful situations, as studies have shown.
When our emotional responses become too intense, they might trigger a disruption of the neurological system, a condition known as emotional dysregulation (Mosunic, 2023). Conversely, disappointment and unfulfilled expectations set off a cascade of negative feelings.
It’s not necessary to control emotions, but Mosunic (2023) suggests managing them so they don’t control us or harm us. Consequently, ways to regulate emotions are necessary.
Among other things, learning to control your emotions requires familiarity with your own unique emotional experiences, awareness of what triggers them, validation of those feelings, and regular mindfulness practice.
Researchers have shown that having a good understanding of both our emotions and societal standards is a huge help when it comes to controlling our emotions. A person’s intelligence is a measure of their ability to think critically, reason effectively, and solve problems.
Emotional Intelligence:
Emotional Intelligence (EI) The idea of emotional intelligence has recently grown in prominence in coaching and leadership literature, and it has also become more popular in the workplace.
Numerous studies have looked into the idea and found that it’s a necessary ability to have, particularly for managing emotions at work. It has grown in popularity since its 1998 introduction by Daniel Goleman.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to regulate one’s own emotions as well as those of other people around them. Four pillars build this competency: self-awareness, self-regulation or management, empathy, and social skills.
The ability to regulate one’s emotions and adjust to new situations are aspects of self-regulation, while self-awareness is concerned with being aware of one’s emotions and how they impact one’s behavior.
Building and maintaining connections and communicating effectively are aspects of social skills, whereas empathy is the ability to understand and support other people’s emotions. Emotional intelligence involves keeping tabs on your own and other people’s emotions, being able to distinguish between them, and letting that knowledge inform your decisions.
People with high EI are good at recognizing their emotions, understanding their significance, and recognizing how those feelings impact their actions and the actions of people around them.
Additionally, they are able to read people’s emotions and comprehend and empathize with the feelings that drive their actions. It is critical for leaders to have self-awareness and objectivity in the workplace. Being humble and aware of your abilities are the results of this.
The people, their emotions, relationships, and connections constitute a company’s essence, not its strategy or stats. The capacity to comprehend and control one’s own emotions—what is commonly referred to as “emotional intelligence”—helps workers succeed in both their professional and personal lives.
Interpersonal Skill—Social Intelligence:
Our connections have a profound impact on every part of our lives, according to recent discoveries in neuroscience and biology by Daniel Goleman, who showed that humans are hardwired to connect.
For him, the argument is all about social intelligence. Good relationships are like vitamins for our health, while toxic relationships are like poisons, since we are hardwired to be sociable and because our reactions to other people have far-reaching biological effects (Goleman, 2007).
Goleman and Boyatzis (2008) argue that social intelligence—a collection of interpersonal competencies based on unique neural circuits that motivate others to be effective—is a more relationship-based concept for evaluating leadership.
Understanding social interactions through familiarity with social standards, social perception, and other emotional abilities to react appropriately is another aspect of social intelligence.
Relationships, social awareness, empathy, and proficiency in interpersonal communication are the cornerstones of social intelligence, which is comparable to emotional intelligence.
A high level of social intelligence is associated with better communication, stronger corporate cultures, more effective leadership, and less conflict. Innovation, adaptability, and better customer interactions are all aided by this instrument.
Interacting effectively in social situations, understanding social norms, and influencing social dynamics are all components of social intelligence, which encompasses a wider range of skills than emotional intelligence, which is defined as the capacity to both control one’s own emotions and identify those of others. To be healthy, you must be aware of and able to control your emotions.
Some pointers:
Having strong communication skills, being able to listen attentively, managing one’s reputation, being respectful of cultural differences, and valuing others are all ways to boost one’s social and emotional intelligence (Morin, 2020).
Some strategies for emotional regulation include regular meditation and mindfulness practice, being aware of and accepting of one’s own feelings, learning to detect and avoid situations that bring on strong emotions, and, finally, consulting a mental health expert (Mosunic, 2007).
According to Juby (2024), there are several ways to gain control over your emotions: consider their consequences, work toward regulation rather than repression, recognize and accept all of your feelings, record your thoughts and feelings in a journal, develop effective coping mechanisms for stress, and see a therapist.
The Bible also offers advice on controlling emotions. It is possible to bring our feelings into harmony with God’s message; if they are out of sync, we should fight against them. The Bible also discusses emotional discernment, which is similar to being conscious of your emotions (Meyer, 1987).
Rather than relying on outward signs, we govern our lives and actions based on our firm convictions about humanity’s place in the universe and the nature of God. We approach our beliefs with a spirit of trust and holy zeal. verse seven of 2 Corinthians 5.
So, instead of letting our emotions guide our decision-making, we put our faith in God’s word (Meyers, 1987).
Similarly, the wellsprings of life are in the heart; therefore, guard it diligently (Proverbs 4:23 AMP). “Keep your heart with all diligence. For out of it are the issues of life” (KJV), according to another version.
There are repercussions for the acts we do in response to our emotions; thus, this scripture warns us to be careful and control them. Ephesians 4:31–32 (AMP) also cautions us.
The passage exhorts us to leave behind all forms of malice, including slander, continual hatred, resentment, contention, and the pursuit of fault. Just as God, the Father, extends unconditional forgiveness to you, so too should you show generosity and assistance to each other, showing compassion for those who are weak and in need.
