By Yao Afra YAO
Prologue: On a Mission
I honestly don’t think I would be able to hold it back… Meeting this French gentleman or lady—perhaps both named Lafayette—walking briskly past me, dressed to kill—dressed to kill… I honestly don’t think I would be able to hold back my laughter, if upon asking this immaculately dressed gentleman or lady where they were headed to, he/she earnestly responded, “Je chie dans la Seine!”
Je chie dans la Seine?
Excuse my French, but did he/she just say, “I sh*t in the Seine”?!
[Just so we are all on the same page, I think it’s important that I point out that the ‘*’ in that word right there is an ‘i’. So, if you put the ‘i’ right back in there what you get is ‘shit’. Once again, just so we’re on the same page.]
I could go ahead and laugh at this Lafayette just said. But I know the French people enough not to laugh just yet. Because, Lafayette, he/she is holding a placard, you see. And you and I know that the Frenchman and woman, they don’t play with their demonstrations.
CHAPTER 1
Baguettes and Swords
The French people don’t play with their protests. They take to the street any chance they get. The Frenchman and woman, they demonstrate over any and everything—nothing is too small or irrelevant. Should we stoop so low as to begin stereotyping nations, for the French people, the stereotype would be: protests, then, maybe, baguettes. Protests before food. The world knows this fact to be true, the French people, they don’t joke with their demonstrations.
And this might be because of their history.
Coming from a national history steeped in mass mobilisation and collective picketing—a nation forged out of mass mobilisation and collective picketing—this present trait of the Frenchman and woman comes as no surprise.
This is a country which found its very birth—its rebirth—in protests. For some nations of the modern world, democracy was learnt; for others it was ‘taught’, but for the French people, it had to be fought for with literal sweat and blood—a whole lot of blood—beginning in the 18th century. This was a country that had spent centuries upon centuries under monarchical rule. A long, tedious regime where fellow men and women claimed themselves ordained by God to rule over their fellow men and women… These so-called chosen-by-God men and women were to, along with their entire lineages, remain at the top of the food chain, while the masses, the many French people laboured at their feet…
The French masses, they laboured through generational poverty and hardships—so as to put bountiful foods at the tables of the gluttonous few.
And these fortunate gluttonous few, they came in two categories. Yes, they also found themselves in a tiered hierarchy. It went: the First Estate (comprising the clergy—the then so-called men of God). Then there was the Second Estate which comprised the nobility—the royal family. And at the bottom of it all were the people, the masses, comprising about 98% of the entire population of France—the Third Estate. Collectively they made up the ‘Estates General’—French people, unequal under one God…
And so it was for centuries.
*****
But don’t get the historic French people wrong. They weren’t necessarily a fatalistic bunch. They weren’t necessarily collectively inherently servile—so servile that they would willingly allow such an unjust regime to continue for that long. Au contraire.
Rather, this social order (disorder), one could say, persisted for this long because the historic French person lacked the sweeping power of mobilisation. They lacked that enabling platform—that essential connecting platform… So, ideas, they sure did pop into many a historic Frenchman and woman’s mind every now and then. But lacking this enabling platform, this connecting platform, these ideas found themselves always in isolation—doomed to fail, stuck in the minds of people in silos, in their homes, in their little social groups. All the while the First and Second estates, they lived lavishly on. With Louis XV running through mistresses almost as much as his successor’s wife, Marie Antonette changed clothes; with Louis XIV, coming before Louis the XV, able to give Louis the XVI’s wife a run for her money—well not her money, but you get the point… The man could dress the entire French nation dry!
And oh, the lavish palaces, the many opulent parties, the countless unnecessary ceremonies—Louis XIV could turn an ordinary occasion into the grandest lavish affair! All this, done on the Frenchman and woman’s dime. Their hard-earned dime! Can you imagine that? After toiling endless hours daily, you this historic Frenchman and woman knew that a good chunk of your hard-earned money would end up at the feet of your so-called leaders—shooting out of the groins of the many Louises, and if you were ‘lucky’, atop Marie Antonette’s head.
See, it is not even fair for us to sit here and single out these few monarchs—because the truth is that the French monarchy, since time immemorial, like many of their kind interspersed worldwide, had opulence as their middle names.
But this all came to a head when the printing press reared its beautiful head, you see.
Talk of an enabling platform!
The lack of an enabling and connecting platform, this was an ailment that plagued the historic Frenchman and woman—much like the rest of the world. An ailment that, worldwide, saw to the fostering of unjust, inequitable, and outrightly abusive human ecosystems.
Fellow Ghanaians [no, I mean ‘my brothers and sisters’], this all began reaching a long-desired turning point with the invention of the printing press in the 15th century. And just like that, slowly but surely, like the fabled frog of the old well, the French people came to find that not only were those thoughts of freedom, equality, and revolution roaming around their minds valid, but also, that these ideologies were in effect in other parts of the world, in fact. Yes indeed, fellow human beings in other parts of the world—in regions such as the Americas and even Europe—were fighting for and attaining for themselves freedoms and their human dignities. There and then, the Frenchman and woman decided that they too were human beings. They too were human beings created by the same God, endowed with the same inalienable rights. Hence, fight, they must—for their God-given humanity.
Charged with these enlightenment ideas, the 18th century Frenchman and woman were to find themselves, with the turn of events, storming fortresses, castles—storming the Bastille in search of armouries, the castles in search of Louis and Marie—and having in their hands, placards, in their minds, ideologies of revolution—of ‘liberté, égalité, fraternité’… Demanding there and then, liberty, equality, fraternity—their God-given rights. Ladies and gentlemen, this revolutionary charge, beginning in 1789, came to a head with the decapitation of shady Louis the XVI and his wife Antoinette—their heads lost to the guillotine in the year 1793… Both found guilty of treason against the state—the new France. By the year 1794, the revolution had reached its full form; the dawn of a new republic—the first French Republic. The French people had launched a revolution never then before seen!
The Frenchman and woman, they had tried reasoning with the monarchy, you know. The revolution had been intended a deliberative one, where the people and the monarchy would come together and sign into enforcement, a new constitution—one which would guarantee the freedoms and dignity of the people, and maintain the monarchy perhaps, with them serving as figureheads of a sort. But the monarchy, they still took the French people for fools—double-timing them every chance they got, trying to subvert the gains made by the revolution. So, off their heads went. Huzzah! France had set itself free—or so it seemed.
Led by the people, frontlined by names such as Lafayette, Robespierre, Sieyès, the ailing yet indefatigable Marat, Brissot, Olympe de Gouges, etc.—some of whom were journalists, some lawyers, businessmen and women, playwrights, etc., the French people had set themselves free—or, again, so it seemed.
Because when has a revolution ever been clean-cut?
All around the world, hasn’t it been the case that oftentimes revolutionaries end up becoming that very thing which they work so hard to defeat? The abused oftentimes very easily becomes the abuser, it is often said. And this was exactly the case for the Frenchman and woman. It did not take long after the overthrow of the monarchy for the revolutionary government to launch a reign of terror of their own over the people—necessitating yet another round of mass mobilisation and subsequent coup d’etat by the people.
And with each subsequent overthrow, the French people were ‘rewarded’ with yet another tyrannical regime. Needless to say, the Frenchman and woman, they had to constantly remain on their feet, to keep their governments in check—to maintain the sanctity of the Republic that they so dearly yearned for. Because aren’t human beings the ficklest of all creations?! The leader who spearheads your revolutionary charge today may so easily become the devil you will have to, once again, work tirelessly to get rid of.
CHAPTER 2
“Never again!” The Jews would say. This sentence right here is, in the light of recent events, loaded with a whole lot of nuance and irony, I know. But permit me to use them cursorily here, and trust that I will deal with it later in detail elsewhere. But for now, let’s take it on its face value, and apply it to the case of the French people… Because ‘never again’, the French people decided—never again were they going to sit by for their leaders to do as they pleased—hiding behind the veil of religion and/or political power… Never again were they going to be taken for fools—toiling away just so that the gluttonous few will remain at the top of the human food chain, in their ivory towers of governance, eating away their hard-earned moneys, taxes, public coffers… Oh, these phony monarchical and political leaders, prone to gluttony, eating away while the masses—God’s people—starve… Never again!
The French people swore that they were, at every point of their national lives, going to be involved citizens—directly involved in the affairs of state, directly keeping track of the actions of leaderships, and directly making their voices and sentiments heard by leadership—always!
No, the Frenchman and woman weren’t going to be bound by the bureaucracies of governance. They had made that mistake before under the monarchies of centuries prior; they weren’t going to repeat that mistake ever again. They were not going to sit home and trust that their political representatives—their parliamentarians, mayors, presidents, prime ministers, etc., would automatically do the right thing. They weren’t going to stay home, hands between their legs, waiting for their leaders to run their country down the drain, while they, on the other hand, patiently saved their ‘voices’ and prepared their thumbs for the next election year. No!
Governance, nationhood, for the people of France, meant active participation—active participation through, among others, concerted and active picketing. Active demonstrations—toujours!
After eating comes the gnashing of teeth
I have been pondering over this piece of mine, ‘After Eating Comes the Gnashing of Teeth’, written on 14th August 2024, a lot recently. In that article, we contemplated over the nation of France—we pondered over what their economic trajectory would be like, post hosting the 2024 Olympics. Using the post-2004-Olympics Greece as a case study, we wondered if France, an already top-performing nation (socio-economically top-performing, that is) would reap further positive socioeconomic benefits from their hosting of the Olympics or if they would also be doomed to the same legacy of debt that had plagued other Olympic-hosting nations coming before it, particularly Greece.
Greece had made a mistake of biting more than it could chew—throwing scarce national resources into the 2004 Olympics, adding to its national debt, polishing over certain national dirt that persisted (dirt such as corruption, economic mismanagement, etc.), and hoping against all odds that the Olympics would miraculously solve these deep-seated national problems. Unsurprisingly, Greece crashed under the weight of this unmerited aspiration. Hosting the Olympics did little to solve their national problems—in fact, it only added to these woes. Was this to be the fate of France also? We queried in ‘After Eating Comes the Gnashing of Teeth.’
But I must say that looking at the historical and modern-day French citizenry, I almost feel obliged to respond to this question in the negative. No, I don’t really think France is headed for this post-Olympic infamy as famously witnessed by countries such as Greece. Why?
Well, because there goes this modern-age, immaculately dressed Frenchman and woman, perhaps named Lafayette, earnestly holding on to their placards, fervently informing us that they, in fact, are on their way to ‘shit in the Seine’. And their reason for this?
Yeah… you see, ‘it’s because Macron doesn’t listen!’ How do you spend about $1.5 billion just to clean a river?! Just so you can hold a ‘global party’, when there are many other pressing national issues that you should be focusing on? Huh?!
Needless to say, the French people were not happy with the way their government had been conducting itself, leading up to the Olympics—quite literally flashing money down the drain!
$1.5 billion! That’s half of Ghana’s infamous 2023/2024 affair with the IMF. All that… just to clean a river. Mmm…
But these French leaders, they were adamant. They even went on to promise the French people and the world at large that in order to prove that the Seine River had indeed been cleaned and was sanitary enough to host the Olympics’ swimming games, they, themselves, were going to take a swim in the river. So naturally, the Frenchman and woman, bent on showing these incorrigible leaders where power lies, took to social media under the hashtags and to the streets bearing placards that read, “Je chie dans la Seine!” Serious as hell!
Threatening the President of France and co. to desist from flaunting this ‘money flashing’ parade otherwise they, the French people, were going to meet their swimming with shitting. Oh no, the French people, they were not joking. They even created a website for this protest. The landing page of this website, it read (and still reads, in fact), “Je chie dans la seine le 23 Juin pour Macron, Hidalgo, [et] Nuñez.” Translated as, “I shit in the Seine on the 23 June [2024] for Macron, Hidalgo, [and] Nuñez.” A colossal warning to the President, to the Mayor of Paris, and the Paris Prefect of Police
The website goes on to explain the rationale behind this protest. “Parceque après nous avoir mis dans la merde c’est à eux de se baigner dans notre merde.” “Because after putting us in shit, it’s up to them to bathe in our shit.”
Oh, the Frenchman and woman, they were dead serious about this endeavour, for the website goes on to provide a calculator for one to, “Rentrez la distance de Paris d’où vous voulez chier pour savoir quand il faut agir afin que votre cadeau arrive le 23 juin.” Which, in English, means, “Enter the distance from Paris where you want to shit, to know when to act so that your gift arrives on June 23.”
Ah, just enter the location in which you want to commit your very public duty of pooping into the Seine to see how long it will take for your very important contribution to arrive at the Seine as planned! Why? Because the government—the President and the Mayor, Macron and Hidalgo—have decided to take you for granted, to put you through ‘shit’, so, all ye citizens of this great nation of France, pull down your pants, and undertake your very important public duty. Perhaps it’s not too late for you and I to head to France and make our own contributions too because the website (https://jechiedanslaseinele23juin.fr), as noted, is still up.
To the Ghanaian, to the Government…
I, personally, will advise that we, Ghanaian citizens, leave our excrement out of the matter when contemplating national issues—especially as they pertain to the actions and inactions of our leaders. In fact, this article may not even be a call on us to replicate the protesting spirit of the French person—taking to the streets in demonstration every chance we get. But one cannot help but have absolute admiration for the French person’s approach to citizenship! The Frenchman and woman, they are the world’s quintessential citizenry. They do citizenship right! You won’t catch the French citizen slacking—watching on, sitting by as their leaders run their nation dry. Even if it means threatening defecation.
And this is the world’s seventh largest economy we are talking about here! A country with, among others, such an enviable social security system, work-life balance, and high standard of living… Yet, this same country, it consistently ranks atop the world’s list of recorded civilian protests annually—beating out struggling economies and troubled states such as Yemen, Lebanon, Algeria, Dominican Republic, Hong Kong, etc.
If citizens of such a flourishing economy can be this restlessly vigilant of their leaders, who are we to remain silent? Who are we to choose the option of quietly watching on as our leaders bleed our nation dry with their mis-decisions, incompetence, and outright corruption, patiently and meekly waiting on, for our periods of retribution, i.e., election year, to arrive?
We, Ghanaians, be us natural or artificial persons—be us individuals, entities, businesses, corporations, or organisations—have no business being quiet, fatalistic citizens. Ghanaian entities, businesses, corporations, organisations, I repeat, you have no business being quiet, fatalistic citizens. There’s way too much at stake for us to be behaving this way! Quintessential citizenship enjoins active and constant supervision and criticism of governance—constructive criticism, that is. Quintessential citizenship does not wait in silence for political leaders to run the nation into the ground, meekly waiting for the next election year.
We must all find healthy avenues to air our informed, sharp and pointed criticisms of our governments—always. And these avenues, they tend to vary. And sometimes, they just so happen to come in the form of demonstrations. Ask the French people, they’ll tell you. The French person, oh, he/she has historically and presently won many a disagreement with their governments, using the power of collective picketing. Granted, je chie dans la seine wasn’t enough to stop this $1.5billion charade—but it did stop further potential spend. Sometimes the people win; sometimes, not so much. But protests, they have proven themselves essential to nationalistic strides. Demonstrations, they are essentially dialogue.
So, someone kindly inform our newly unveiled President and all such other Presidents that our nation will have in the future that protests, they are nothing but dialogue. They are an ingenious—and admittedly, charged—way of nudging you, our leaders, into staying on track. Because we, the citizenry, have been handed a script, you see. In fact, it is you these very leaders who hand us these scripts—manifestos containing such glorious promises. So, protests ultimately are a great way for us to help keep you to your own scripts. When you find yourself wandering off your God-given path, this path that leads to leadership glory, we the people, very passionately nudge you back onto this glorious path with certain tried and tested measures. Measures such as demonstrations. So, demonstrations, they, in fact, are an act of love.
To find oneself wandering off their God-given path, into the inglorious wild, and being helped back onto this path by some saving hands… To find yourself very heroically promising a slim and modest government—no more flying first-class for all Ministers, you very heroically inform us—but then, very tragically, you find yourself backtracking on this God-ordained promise. Yet, through the saving grace of God, what do you see? We, the Ghanaian people, in the streets, bearing placards, passionately reminding you of this promise, helping you reach your truest potential as a leader… Ah, show me a better love affair than this!
Now to the lovely fellow Ghanaian, I will humbly say this… Realising the enormous power such mass mobilisations tend to wield, it is important that when exercising this power, we do so with probity. There is an enormous duty on us all, distinguished Ghanaians, to maintain purity of intentions and of actions—whenever such a need arises for us to take to the streets to make our voices heard.
In fact, please bow your heads and let us pray (I just remembered that this ‘Attempted Prophecies’ column of ours is even a church)…Hallelujah? All things that seek to cause destruction to this societal order that we have worked so hard for and continue to work towards, we rebuke at all costs. Amen? Amen!
All thoughts of romanticising the past—thoughts of the instigation of societal upheaval, unrests, and pointless disruptions, we rebuke also. Amen? Amen!
There was nothing romantic about the coup d’état of historic France. People often make the fatal mistake of fawning over the past—like in the case of France, over their revolutionary past. And in fact, this article—the first half of it, at least—without even intending, is perhaps guilty of this same romanticisation. Au contraire, there was nothing romantic about 18th-century France. The resistance was honourable and necessary; but the bloody means through which they were achieved, not so much. These so-called revolutionary periods were animalistic, gory, morbid; they often promised heaven and delivered hell. Indeed, I’ll reiterate, the abused (these so-called revolutionaries) often ended up becoming the abuser (tyrannical leaders often worse than the regime they toppled). And we know this to be true—because of our own history.
So then, in our bid at collective picketing aimed at effecting national progress, through such actions like the lineup of demonstrations we may be undertaking in the coming months and years, we, Ghanaians, must make it a point to root out all thoughts and all such fellow citizens who seek to, not cause positive change and progress, but rather, retrogressive destructions to our country. Disorderliness does not belong in the streets! Let the people of God say amen!
And please, in all this, let us pledge to keep our excrements in our pants—it’s very important.
>>>the writer is a writer. And this sentence is circular. [email protected], https://muckrack.com/yao-afra-yao, LinkedIn: Yao Afra Yao
