By Kodwo Brumpon
“The scars on my heart are not from my enemies.” – African proverb
Every word we utter, unveil a piece of who we are. It is no secret that many of us underestimate the weight of our words, but beyond carrying the power to inspire or deflate, to build or break; the words we use and the ways we use them tell the world the state of our innermost being.
When the Scriptures highlights that, “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart;” we are being taught a truth that is as profound as it is practical. The truth is that what flows from our mouths begins in our hearts.
We need to understand that the heart is the seat of our deepest beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. It is where our perceptions of the world, our values, and our intentions are cultivated. The heart, in this sense, represents the inner self, the core of who we are and what reside there inevitably shapes the way we express ourselves. Let us take a moment to imagine the heart as a reservoir.
It is where we store the things we cherish. Thus, the contents spill over into our words and actions. If the reservoir is filled with positives of love, wisdom, and kindness, those qualities will flow out through our conversations and interactions. On the other hand, if the reservoir is filled with negativity, the words that come out of it will bear an exact resemblance. Put simply, our words are simply the outward expression of our internal state.
This truth makes us understand why many of us struggle to communicate effectively despite the many seminars and workshops we have participated in. Too many of us have focused on nurturing ‘communication skills,’ when what we really need is to tend to our hearts. Just as a tree bears fruit that reflects the health of its roots, our words reveal the health of our inner life.
If we can strive to nurture our hearts with gratitude, wisdom, compassion, and self-awareness, and all the virtues, we ensure that what flows from our mouths brings life, healing, and connection to those around us. This is because the heart and the mouth are forever intertwined. Together, they shape both our relationships and the legacy we leave in the world.
As individuals and as leaders in the various roles we play, we are not just managers of people or processes; we are stewards of the visions we have bought into and cultures we live by. Every interaction, meeting, and even the passing conversations we have tell others what our hearts are full of.
If we are to speak well of people, of our businesses, and our nation, it shows first and foremost that we think well of them. What is most interesting about our words is that when they lack conviction, those we speak to them to can tell; just as they can sense the authenticity of true belief. So, the best way to communicate effectively is to work on your heart.
How do we nurture our hearts in a manner that ensures that our words reflect not just what we do but – people who build organisations and nations, inspire individuals and groups, and ultimately bring out the creativity and good things stored up within others? For starters, we need to be intentional about it.
It is a call to deliberately protect our inner selves from negative or harmful influences. This challenges us to adopt an attitude of carefully evaluating the influences around us, identifying those that could potentially harm our emotional well-being, and actively making the choice to be far away from them as possible. For example, we can be selective about what we watch, listen to, and read to avoid negativity.
Following that, we need to let go of all the negativity, bitterness, and resentments that has been stored in our hearts over time. This is an act of liberating yourself. You need to unshackle your heart so you can live freely, without fear or favour. This involves making time to reflect and contemplate on the sources of your bitterness or negativity.
That journey will help you understand what lies at the heart of your resentments and how they flow through your words. As you let go of the negatives and vices in you, you free up space in your heart for the positives and virtues to flow abundantly, healing you and making your inner being a vessel of light.
A pure heart will reshape the choice of words and tone of voice you use when communicating. It will turn complaints into solutions, apathy into enthusiasm, and doubt into confidence…
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Kodwo Brumpon is an executive coach at Polygon Oval, a forward-thinking Pan African management consultancy and social impact firm driven by data analytics, with a focus on understanding the extraordinary potential and needs of organisations and businesses to help them cultivate synergies, that catapults into their strategic growth, and certifies their sustainability.
Comments, suggestions, and requests for talks and training should be sent to him at [email protected]
