By Kodwo Brumpon
“That which is on the mind is what we take into our sleep and dreams.” – Akan proverb
We should never be tired of listening because every time we hear another opinion; we experience new learning in our consciousness. To be very frank, a renewal takes place every time we listen.
And it is so unique on each occasion. If you can attach the same amount of importance you do to news items and sermons in your conversations, you will experience the newness of the words spoken by individuals.
The spoken word renews itself in different context. What is beautiful today might be brilliant tomorrow. And so if you do not listen right and interpret it in the proper context of now, your interpretation of it later will be flawed.
The key to any successful relationship is understanding each other within the context the partners communicate. For that to happen, each person must learn to tune-in into the other’s world. This means you ought to listen and listen effectively. Listening entails interpreting.
To attempt to interpret anything, you do need to acquaint yourself with what is happening. This familiarization is simply an understanding of the context and the movements therein. That is why one needs to pay attention. How can you understand what is happening if you are not being attentive? It is an essential ingredient in understanding. It makes you sensitive. When you are sensitive to what is being said, you do not only hear, but you experience the context as well.
When you do not pay attention, you struggle to listen. This become a disability and invariably interferes with the flow of things and nature. Every moment occurs once, so too does the context of a conversation. The context in which something is said today will not be the same as tomorrow. What is being said now is ripe for now.
Its meaning is distorted when it is repeated in an hour. When you ought to listen, you ought to do so in the moment of happening and it should be with all the attentiveness. You will always get your turn to speak, but until that time arrives, let your mind be focused on what is being said, as well as what is not being said. You remember the adage, ‘there is a time and a place for everything’? And everyone gets a turn. So, if it is your turn to listen you ought to just do that.
The human being is a receptive receptacle. Every habit of ours, we learned from other people, either directly or indirectly. Even our cultures are receptive and learned. It is the reason why we and our cultures evolve. It is the essence of change. Nothing is static because we have been wired to be receptive to our surroundings. Our task is to interpret our present situations in our present surroundings. You can only do this by being aware and focusing when someone is in the spotlight.
Listening is one of the many art forms that enable us to relate well. You ought to understand that everything in life is about relationships. Do not limit relationship only to just your personal life. In the work environment, the relationship is the contractual agreement that you will utilize your skills and talents to create a sustainable future. In this case profit for the organization.
And your employer will treat you with dignity by providing a suitable work environment and a decent salary as rewards for your contributions. And in every form of relationship whether home or work, you need to listen in order to function effectively and efficiently. To do that, you ought to have a firm understanding of how that individual feels and think about what is happening around him or her. That way, you understand them well enough to identify with them. They in turn reciprocate this gesture and are willing to play their essential role in the success of the relationship.
The real catch in listening is empathy. Being empathic is more of walking in another person’s shoes. You are not waiting for a chance to talk back; rather you transport yourself into their world. You become a receptacle into which they pour forth what is in them, their values, opinions, ideas, beliefs and their inspirations and aspirations. In that manner they melt into you, affording you the opportunity to form and shape them. The speaker becomes an object of fascination, you learn about him or her. This gives you an opportunity to actually resonate with the speaker.
Listening is like bestowing a breath of mercy on the speaker. It is a beautiful thing. For in it you enliven hope, create joy and inspire aspirations. You let people hear themselves talk and it encourages them to come out of their shell like a liberated soul. And liberated souls always look up to you; they are most willing to let you in into their lives again and again. They let you on to their secrets and all that they know. You help them to mingle on the stage of interaction and they bring on board a rich store of their knowledge. Ultimately, you will comprehend the multiple layers of meaning in their words and body language to help you flow with them…
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Kodwo Brumpon is an executive coach at Polygon Oval, a forward-thinking Pan African management consultancy and social impact firm driven by data analytics, with a focus on understanding the extraordinary potential and needs of organisations and businesses to help them cultivate synergies, that catapults into their strategic growth, and certifies their sustainability.
Comments, suggestions, and requests for talks and training should be sent to him at [email protected]
