By Kodzo Foli
Hello, my name is Dede Nyansapo. I am an entrepreneur who also participates in Accra’s burgeoning gig economy as a driver. My love for meeting fascinating people and my curiosity about how they think usually place me in the midst of some very entertaining conversations. Invariably, these conversations lead to some key learnings that may be useful to anyone on their business journey.
“Nuong Faalong is hilarious! I can never get enough of her tweets. Did you see what she just put up on Facebook?”
I took a glance behind me at the suddenly animated passenger,who appeared to be on a phone call.
“I ab-so-lute-ly looooooove Nuong”, she continued. “I find her refreshingly and thoroughly entertaining. Hahaha…. “Ozbandof the year, ampa!”
I could feel a smile forming on my face because I had also seen the post in question. In a world where women are decried, perhaps rightfully so, for all our shenanigans on social media, people like Nuong are not credited enough. Where others incessantly court attention using the low-brow and now trite appeal of sensuality, Nuong’s Facebook page is replete with humour, sarcasm, and the sort of intellectual banter that, in my humble opinion, would be a great role model for young girls.
The post in question was about the husband of our very own, Afua Asantewaa, a woman who captured the imagination of many Ghanaians in a strange, albeit entertaining, December 2023 in Accra. Afua Asantewaa, a journalist in Accra, had attempted to break the Guinness World Record for the longest singing marathon by an individual in a well-orchestrated and well-publicized event that lasted for over one-hundred and twenty-seven hours, generated memes, and led to the latest utterance by her husband that the Akwaaba Village, where she performed should have been named after her.
“My driver is even laughing”, my passenger continued, “Madam, do you think the Akwaaba Village should be renamed after Afua Asantewaa?”
“Please call me Dede”, I responded, completely exploding in laughter.
“Ok, Dede. I’m Ohemaa. Now, tell me … do you think we should rename the Akwaaba village?” she replied and then quickly added to the voice on the other end of her call, “Ok, let me put you on speaker phone.”
I thought long and hard about the question and honestly had noopinion.
I said, “I’m not so sure. I don’t even know if it’s that deep. Also, as I understand it, her attempt was not successful.”
A male voice came booming through the phone, “Thank you,Dede! We no fit support mediocrity like that!”
“Oh, Kwaku! How can you say it like that?” Ohemaa replied, “She made the Akwaaba Village popular, so I don’t see what is wrong with that.”
“Chale…chale…chale…” Kwaku replied, “Ohemaa, you are a fine girl, but sometimes you dey shock me waaaaa. Ah! How can you say that?”
“All I’m saying is that she put the country and the village on the map. Perhaps it’s worth considering.” Ohemaa added. “I mean, it won’t hurt anybody, will it?”
Kwaku’s laughter was immediate. “I think Ghanaians like celebrating mediocrity too much. Our disappointing performance in the African Cup of Nations in recent years and everything going on in this country is a direct result of our insistence on celebrating and upholding useless things.”
Ohemaa shook her head in feigned disappointment whilst chuckling and replied, “Ah! You too! Kwaku, you are always trying to be controversial. How is being inspired by what Afuahas done, celebrating mediocrity?”
“Thank you for the question. This is why I like you. But I hope Dede can still hear me because I dey come ‘bost’ your brain with sense. You see, even when I say nonsense, there is some sense in it.”, Kwaku replied.
At that moment, Ohemaa tapped me on the shoulder, and I quickly replied, “Yes, I can hear you, Kwaku. Please make your point.”
“See, first of all, Afua Asantewaa is a genius. I won’t take that away from her. If she were on a mission to be famous, sheexecuted that perfectly. Unfortunately, I don’t think she was as interested in actually working towards breaking the record. I think she wished she had broken the record. I think she wanted to break the record, but if she wanted to work towards breaking the record, then she did a very poor job of studying and understanding the actual rules for breaking the singing marathon. Being a journalist and media trained, she was, however, the best-positioned person to translate the attention that came from attempting a record like this into brand deals, which she has executed flawlessly.”
Kwaku continued, “You see, in the last few days, we have even found out that the Guinness World Records team had informed Afua that her attempt at the record had been unsuccessful, and yet she failed to inform the general public as she continued to secure brand deals with the newfound fame that she had carefully, and intelligently crafted.”
“Me, I can’t call it fraud, but I wonder how the brand managers who thought they were signing someone who the GWR was still reviewing feel knowing that she withheld information from them? One would argue that there was enough financial incentive to hide that information deliberately.”
I interjected, “But do we know if Afua knew about her being unsuccessful? She claims she could not log in to the portal to see her official paperwork.”
“Well, that’s another thing, Dede. Afua is media-trained. If you pay attention to her appearances and utterances, they are carefully crafted. She intimated that the Guinness World Record team may have potentially breached an agreement with her by not allowing her to be the one to officially reveal the fact that her attempt had been unsuccessful. Does that mean she thinks that even if she had been officially informed and chose not to reveal it, the Guinness World Record team did not have a right to broadcast the result? That’s worrying to me.”
“That’s fair enough, Kwaku”, Ohemaa replied, “But do you think the brands even care about all of this? Isn’t all publicity good publicity?”
“Exactly Ohemaa! That is why my beef is not with AfuaAsantewaa. We really do get what we deserve as a nation. If brands are happy to associate with anything on social media, as long as it gets the views and attention, then surely, nothing stops anyone from using a Guinness World Record attempt to gather enough attention to translate it into brand deals. This is why we had someone attempt a stand-a-thon a few weeks ago, in addition to the many other –athons that have now become a pandemic in our country!” Kwaku added whilst breaking into laughter.
“Does attention trump credibility in today’s social media space? It appears so. This is why social media accounts like NuongFaalong’s must be celebrated and treasured. They are rare sane spaces in this version of extremely commercialized degenerate post-apocalyptic social media terrain.”
“Eiii brofo! Small vexing you vex…. You want to confuse us with English”, Ohemaa said, giggling uncontrollably. “Anyway, we hear you. So what do you want to do about it besides praising you for following Nuong Faalong?”
“Oh, clear off!” Kwaku retorted. “The point is our obsession with Afua Asantewaa is neither good nor bad, but just reflective of who we are and where we are as a people. If we ignore all the female scientists, doctors, businesswomen, teachers, mothers, lawyers and other professionals and heap accolades on someone who attempted and failed to beat an established record partly because she did not understand the rules enough to avoid violating them, then that’s the template we will be giving to our young people as the definition of success. To me, it’s scary…but maybe I’m too old school.”
“Fine Kwaku,” Ohemaa replied. “You make a good point, but I think we have to start somewhere. By acknowledging and celebrating what Afua has done, we have set the tone for someone else actually to break the record, and I do not doubtthat it will be achieved soon.”
“Sure, Ohemaa. This is fine girl thinking, but let us agree to disagree. I want us to stop celebrating mediocrity as a nation so we can strive for the exceptional. I am going in for my meeting now. Enjoy the rest of your trip. Dede, please drive my baby safely…because she is all I ha-”
“Edi3ben? Baby, from where?” Ohemaa interjected whilst laughing.
“In fact, I believe your car should be named the OhemaaPrincess because my baby Ohemaa has sat in it,” Kwakuresponded.
“Sure thing, Kwaku”, I answered whilst chuckling; “I’ll name it the Ohemaa princess for you.”
