“The forest rewards those who walk through it.” – Zambian proverb
Our imperfections torture us. We are always being driven through agonising reassessments of our lives. We never seem to be content with anything. One moment we are crazy about something, and come the next moment we become indifferent to it. It is like a relentless sensor within us demanding that we please it, and yet it does not know what will actually make it pleased. So, it keeps asking for different things with the hope that one of them might fulfil its cravings. It is what keeps goading us to do things better, or sometimes do things entirely different with the hope we will discover that which will finally satisfy our emptiness.
There are no absolute answers regarding why we are always seeking. What we know for sure is that it has laid a burden on every human. This not only makes us act crazy, but is also a painful process. Deep down, we all know that our lives would be simpler if we had the confidence to be content with the stuff that we are made of, and that which we have already have. Sadly, “wishes are not horses” and so we have become seekers with an infectious curiosity about the wonder and tenderness of the world around us and beyond our reach. We have developed a perennial quest – or maybe it is ingrained in our hereditary material – to seek understanding of reality and make sense of our place it.
Over the centuries we have done the most logical thing: we have found motivators for our searches. Some of us have noted that the essence of our existence rests on survival and reproduction, and have used them to drive our search antics. Thus, it is not surprising that some of us search for ways of increasing our traits in order to increase reproductive and survival chances. Others focus on maximising wellness, pleasure and seeking out positive personal experiences. But in general we mostly search for means that will help us conform to the norms of our societies, so we can increase our chances of being accepted by those we interact with.
Maybe the seeking bug is essential for us to thrive, or maybe it is not. Nevertheless, it keeps pushing us on and on in our striving. It carves in us the feeling that we can do better than we did before, or we can have something that is better than what we presently have. It gets us fixated on one thing after the other – with the result that when a thing outlives its usefulness we are left with a hangover and emptiness which can only be cured with another thing. No wonder the seeking bug’s most sought after effect is change and its most visible characteristic is progress.
What you search for shapes you and contributes in part to your attitude. It also goes a long way to constitute our belief systems – and then the strength of your belief system determines the state of your psychological wellness, irrespective of the challenges life throws at us. As Victor Frankl would put it, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves”. A look at the lives of people around you should give you an insight into what they have searched for. For example, it is a search for God that drives people to become spiritual. This accounts for the popular notion of “where you heart is, there your treasure lies”.
Unfortunately for many among us, our impteus to seek has got us lost in the order of things. We are so confused we do not even know what we are seeking. We busy ourselves with events, jumping from one to the other. This attitude can become physically and emotionally debilitating, and contribute to our everyday stress. We keep trying and trying, but there is so much to do – and so many resources required to do what we want to do, that we end up unfulfilled. What we do not realise is the reactionary attitude we develop when we are on the edge of doing something. Hence, what we are really doing is basing our priorities on trends and fads.
Since seeking is inevitable, it is only proper that we do it right every time. We have developed the scientific way to help us to make good sense of our essence in life, so let us make efforts to utilise it. Therefore, before you jump head-first into any search/quest, make the effort of listening to hear what more there is to hear and seeing what more there is to see. This will allow your search to begin from an appreciate point, and subsequently take you to a destination in sync with your essence, your happiness and your flourishing.
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Kodwo Brumpon is a partner at Brumpon & Kobla Ltd., a forward-thinking Pan African management consultancy and social impact firm driven by data analytics – with a focus on understanding the extraordinary potential and needs of organisations and businesses to help them cultivate synergies which catapult them into strategic growth and certify their sustainability.
Comments, suggestions and requests for talks and training should be sent to him at kodwo@brumponand kobla.com
otential and needs of organisations and businesses to help them cultivate synergies which catapult them into strategic growth and certify their sustainability.
Comments, suggestions and requests for talks and training should be sent to him at kodwo@brumponand kobla.com
