“If I will know what love is, then it is because of you” said a sage. What does that mean? Simply, love is only love because your fellow human was kind enough to show you what love is. “This is love; I know because of your actions, not your words per se”.
Yes, there is self-love. But that’s not the focus of this piece. And even that, the degree to which you can appreciate ‘love-thy-self’ is highly a function of the love of other people in your life. Thus, you are able to love yourself by caring for your personal wellbeing because you know other people depend on you to feel loved. It must be a give-and-take affair. And that exchange of little thoughtful-acts-of-love must be expressed when you and I are both well and kicking.
Looking Around
Take a moment to pause and reflect on your own life. Just look around, mentally, and you may confirm this observation: Why is it becoming too apparent that the natural human nature to show love and appreciation is becoming more and more estranged? Instead, the tendency to show love and extend good will wishes to one another, usually comes up when it is too late. Why is more pronounced when they pass on, or move on?
Come to think of it. The expensive wreathes laid on tombstones; the extravagant funerals. To what end? And what is the point in writing all those beautiful tributes only to be read posthumously at the funeral of our beloved family and friends? Perhaps, the least said of how expensive these funerals are, the better. The big question is: how do these benefit the departed?
For those of us in the corporate space, do you realize how almost everybody find their voices to pay glowing well wishes to colleagues at their sends-off ceremonies? Why do we organize elaborate and ostentatious ceremonies with the intention to honor the memories of the departing or departed when we could have celebrated them when they were with us?
What’s the Point?
Clearly, there is more to what I want to express here beyond funerals and send-off parties. Whichever way you look at it the principle remains the same: That we learn to show our love and appreciation to people close to us when they can best enjoy it; not when it is too late! Why not take a moment to appreciate and express gratitude to that individual who continually gives his or her all to you and others?
Michelangelo was spot on when she stated it delightfully: “Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell someone how much you love them and how much you care about them”. Why? “Because when they’re gone, no matter how loud you should cry, they won’t hear you anymore” he further explained.
Just Saying Thank You!
Not too long ago, I composed and sent a message of gratitude to a senior colleague who played a significant role in helping out with a contest my Toastmasters club participated in. To me, my decision to express gratitude was birthed from my belief that one’s appreciation is the only necessary universal currency – probably to secure yet another favor in the very near future.
Little did I know that the reply of my senior colleague to my few words of appreciation would rejuvenate my perspective on why it was necessary to never forget to say “Thank you!”. Her response to my note-of-thanks was not only heartfelt but spiced with a deep sense of cheerfulness; one that felt almost palpable. This single incident left me thinking, creating an impression on me. And being the quick-witted person I am, I thought is useful to share the sentiment with all as practicable as I could.
My dear friend, show your love when you can; life is shorter than you can imagine. And to my colleagues and family reading this piece, please hear me out. Don’t bring me flowers when I’m dead… at least make time to come see me today or when you learn a beloved is sick in bed. In brief, I would love that you come “cry” for me whiles I am alive and not when am gone. Come and smile with me whiles am alive because your tears will be needless in my absence. That might not be too useful. And don’t try to remember how I used to be when you have the chance to come walk with me today; a moment to experience the future together.
How? Ms. Pee!
What the point, Priscilla? You may ask. That I wish myself dead? Certainly not! Who does that. My outburst here is to this effect. That we all put in the effort to make the utmost use of the time, while we are still around the people who mean the world to us. I repeat. Don’t wait for tomorrow, when they are in the grave, deep underground to give them a funeral fit for a queen. Sorry, that’s too late!!
Love me now and not tomorrow. And if you will, do so with a touch of forgiveness because I am only but human. Show me love me to love yourself most. Love me while alive; when love can be expressed from the heart.
I may not know who might benefit from this piece, or whose scope may be broadened by it, yet I surely do know that the timely expression of love and appreciation goes a long way to create that utopia of an existence we all seek to have – with and among ourselves. Many more examples can be cited in this voyage.
Ask yourselves what has been so fulfilling about…being on your own, abhorrent, unforgiving, jealous, envious, ‘I-can’t-be-bothered’ syndrome? Why were you so busy to do the check-ups, to say ‘I’m just saying hello’, ‘You came to mind; how are you?’. How about the little drops of the ‘I-love-you’, or ‘I-am-sorry’ to make full the ocean of relationship you share with that friend, relative or spouse? What engaged your attention? Why the long wait?
Beyond Thoughts
My point here is this: let’s not just have it in thought, let’s go further than a thought. Remember little thoughtful-acts-of-love I earlier mentioned? Go ahead. Just say it! Do it! Now!! Pick up the phone and check-up that friend you know you need to. Buy that flower; send that message; write that card; say that I love you; buy or build that dream house for your parent. Just do it! Now, or perhaps never!
As Chadwick Boseman once said in his appreciation to Denzel Washington’s role in his life, “he that has watered, it is now time for him to be watered, he that has given, it is now time for him to be given”. Such is life. It goes, and comes around.
Life is just fleeting we need to take advantage of the present. Take nothing too seriously. Yet, be intentionally purposeful and present to the now. Let us live to hold dear the opportunity the present presents; because tomorrow is never guaranteed.
For now, just know this: I love you! Cheers…to life.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Priscilla Araba Cournooh currently works with Stanbic Bank Ghana Limited, and privileged to manage a fantastic team within the coverage network.
A friendly-hearty-person with huge passion for children and the aged, Priscilla, upholds KISS as philosophy for life: Keep It Simple and Straight-forward.
Priscilla is President of Stanbic Kumasi L&D Toastmasters Club. She is alumnus of University of Cape Coast and Paris Graduate School of Management where she studied for Bachelor of Commerce (B.Com) and MBA in Strategic and Project Management respectively.
