The Attitude Lounge …Don’t Be Judgemental

“A Monkey Is A Gazelle In The Eyes Of Its Mother.” – Egyptian Proverb

If You Take A Moment To Reflect, You Will Realise That On A Daily Basis Our Lives Consist Of Appraising, Evaluating And Concluding On Everything And Every Person We Come Into Contact With. For Example, Before You Wear A Shirt You Determine If It Is Well-Ironed For Whatever Occasion That You Are Attending. Likewise, Other People You Meet While Wearing The Shirt Will Make Similar Assessments. We Use Our Judgement Faculty Because It Is A Necessity For The Effective Functioning Of Life. And We Use This Faculty All The Time. Thus, It Is Quite Overwhelming For Many When They Are Told Not To Be Judgemental. The Question That Arises Is: How Then Are We To Use Our Judgement Faculty?

Life As We Know It Is A Reality Of Imperfections. We Do Not Have An Ideal Of Any Situation, Where Those Who Believe Otherwise Are Exterminated. It Is Even Being Absurd To Imagine Such A Scenario. That Would Be More Like A Remote-Controlled Environment And Imply Belief In A Particular Idea Is The Only Reality And Every Diverse View Is More Or Less An Illusion That Has To Be Weeded Out Before It Even Becomes A Thought.

Instead, We Have A Bag Of Diversity. Life Is A Mosaic; An Exquisite Collection Of Familiarity And Strangeness That Weaves Into Each Other In Ways Which Make It Difficult To Separate One From The Other. We Have What Religion Refers To As ‘Wheat And Weeds Growing Side By Side’. Whatever It Is That You Desire, Or Can Think Of, There Are As Many Dazzling Opposites That Can Mesmerise You Into A State Of Wonder For The Rest Of Your Time In Existence.

The Presence Of Diversity Does Not Mean We Have To Stop Using Our Adjudicatory Faculty. It Is Far From That. What That Inspires Is A Need For Us To Learn To Separate Our Feelings About Our Ideals From The Actions Of People We Meet. Preferences Are Not The Same As Priorities. Thus, When It Is Said That One Should Not Be Judgemental It Means One Should Not Mistake His Or Her Preference As A Priority. Just Because You Assume A Blue Shirt Is The Ideal Colour For Work In An Office Environment, It Does Not Mean Someone A Purple Shirt Is Not Fit To Work In Your Office. You Must Learn To Stop Superimposing Your Ideals On Others. The Distinction Between How You Feel And What Should Be Done Must Always Be Separated.

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Quite The Majority Among Us Like To Think That Because Of Our ‘Education’ We Have Progressed Intellectually Enough To Make Decisions Based On Facts, But The Reality Remains That Many Of Us Are Unable To Separate Our Preferences From The Priorities. They Are So Jumbled-Up In Our Heads We Cannot Even Tell The Difference. That Is Why More Often Than Not Many Of Us End Up Pulling Out The Wheat With The Weeds.

We Are Judgemental Because We Have Not Learned To Separate Our Preferences From The Priorities. So, We Discriminate Between Men And Women, Between Ethnic Groups, Between Those In The Majority And The Minority. Many Of Us Are Always Demanding An ‘Either Or’ From People We Interact With, Forgetting Life Is A Bag Of Chocolates And You Never Know What You Are Going To Get.

In This New Year, We Need To Appreciate That There Will Also Be Weeds Growing In The Field Of Wheat. There Will Always Be Bald-Headed Men And Men With Hair On Their Heads. And Within Each Category There Will Be Further Break-Downs. You Task Is To Evaluate Each As A Man, As A Person. Evaluate Their Words And Actions, Not Their Looks And Your Preferences. Evaluating A Person By His Or Her Looks Is What Being Judgemental Entails. To Offer An Opportunity To Another Because You ‘Like’ The Fact That He Went To Your School, Or Belongs To Your Religious Denomination, Or Comes From A Certain Tribe, Or Is A Member Of A Group Is To Be Judgemental.

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We Frown Upon ‘Judgementalism’ Because It Prevents The Creation Of A Just Society. Our Obsessions With Our Preferences, Instead Of Focusing On The Priorities, Has Led Many Of Us To Overlook Talented Individuals Because Of Their Appearances. We Have Pushed Many Good People Into The Shadows Because We Did Not Like Their Style. On The Reverse Side, Many Con-People Have Been Given The Stage Because They Understood That Many Individuals Live By Their Preferences; And So They Play The Game Of Preferences, Knowing You Will Fall For It.

To Build A Just Society, We All Need To Appreciate That Life Is A Symbiotic Relationship. It Is One That Demands We Learn To Embrace Diversity And Grow In Understanding And Appreciation Of Everything Around Us. It Does Not Want Us To Accept Anything On Face Value. Instead, It Wants Us To Work At Finding The Treasures Hidden In Obscure Places – And Actually Gain Satisfaction From Our Efforts.

That Is Why There Are Priorities. Life Does Not Want Us To Prefer Anything Because It Is Something. No. It Wants Us To Work To Understand, To Appreciate, So That Whatever Or Whoever It Is Becomes A Part Of Us And We A Part Of Them. It Is The Reason We Have Been Given The Ability To Appraise, Evaluate And Conclude On Everything: And The More We Invest In It, The Greater The Peace, Satisfaction And Joy We Receive From Our Understanding And Appreciation.

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Kodwo Brumpon Is A Management Consultant And A Life Coach Who Inspires Individuals, Groups And Corporate Bodies To Think And Feel That Which Is True, And Helps Them To Positively Respond To That Which Is Beautiful, While Nudging Them To Let Goodness Govern Their Actions. Comments, Suggestions And Requests Should Be Sent To Him At Kodwobrumpon@Gmail.Com

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