Hannah is a woman of faith who believes with God all things are possible. So, she can’t seem to wrap her mind around why she’s still childless, six years into marriage. Now Hannah is bitter and angry; and gradually turning cynical, when the unexpected happens one morning, suddenly forcing her to start reassess her whole life.
That evening, the details about his visit didn’t sit well with Hannah, “You did what…? You told your mother I didn’t want to be at the reunion? Why would you do something like that…?”
“I wanted to spare you all the discomfort…”
“I’m always uncomfortable George. I am a married woman without kids. That is my fate, but I manage it. Now she will think I’m just being proud”
“She doesn’t think you’re proud. She loves you and understands our situation…”
“And your elder sister was also there…? Now she will go and tell the others and they will all say that, Ms. Whining is always whining about something. What is she whining about this time…?”
“She won’t do that. And they don’t think you whine. Felicia had the kindest things to say to you. I wish you were there to hear them yourself,” George said.
“I know she had the kindest things to say…,” Hannah snapped, “she can afford to say kind things because she had six children, living in a big house and goes shopping whenever she likes. Everybody can say nice things when they have all the things, they want…, her life is easy”
“Hannah!” George was surprised, but his wife continued to blab on sarcastically.
“Sorry if don’t have nice things to say about people…, I have a big house with no kids in it. That’s enough to make me sick of living; sometime I’m literally ashamed just living in this house. Big house with no kids running around…”
“Hannah…, this is not the kind of response I expected. It’s not always about kids. We are a family! I’m sleeping in the guest room tonight. You sleep alone!” George said and walked off.
“Fine! Sleep in the guest room if you want to” Hannah said after him, “I don’t remember the last time we used it anyway. So many rooms in this house and nobody to occupy them! How are we supposed to continue living like this….,” she said angrily and entered their bedroom and banged the door.
That evening George couldn’t sleep. His wife was getting out of hand and he was scared it may be more than outbursts. Did Hannah need to see a psychologist? Did she need some special attention? If she did, they knew the best one’s in town. Many of them were family friends and they would gladly love to talk to her. Why was she experiencing so many outbursts now? For the longest time, she hadn’t been the happiest person. But now it seemed to be getting out of hand. Even the nicest of things ticked her off in the wrong way.
He didn’t think Hannah was ready to be a part of the reunion on Saturday. But his mother would want her there and Hannah would want to keep face. Oh God! He exhaled and wondered on. What is he supposed to do now? This definitely was not the kind of story he anticipated when he got married almost seven years ago. He thought by now he should have a house full of kids running around.
Some sons and daughters just like his friends and sisters. Most of his friends had started families and even though he didn’t like to think about it, it hurt whenever they informed him that they were going on vacations with the family. He also wanted to go on vacations with his family; he wanted to know that he was working for a son who would take over the bank and run it someday.
He wanted things, but suddenly it seemed like he will never get them. Six years they had been waiting and praying, invested in all kinds of treatments and the answers that came back were always the same; you and your wife should have had kids by now. Sometimes it just takes time. Be patient.
How long could they be patient? Sometimes he felt Hannah’s frustrations because he was in the situation too. But he didn’t have the luxury to flare up because he was always supposed to calm her down. Where would the road go from here? How would this story of theirs end and what did God gave up his sleeves? He fell asleep ruminating over these questions. When he woke up at three am to go and urinate, Hannah was sleeping peacefully beside him.
He was surprised to see her there but as he watched her, he felt her pain and felt sorry for her. This wasn’t the kind of storyline she also expected. It wasn’t the kind he anticipated too. After urinating, he came back and started touching her softly. She responded to his touches and he made love to her. They woke up in each other’s arm; it was the only morning Hannah didn’t visit their prayer room but she knew God would be okay with it.
Later that morning at work, at about ten, George made a call to Dr. Brooks’ office. He was a family friend and a psychologist. He explained Hannah’s recently outbursts and the doctor suggested that Hannah see him.
“Or better why don’t you invite her for lunch. She won’t like the fact that I called you. But if its two friends chatting over lunch, it makes it easier…, then you can guild the conversation with salient questions” George suggested.
“Okay…, that is not a bad idea…,” Dr. Brooks said and agreed to call Hannah. But when he called Hannah, she immediately knew that her husband was the one who arranged the meeting.
“George asked you to call me, didn’t he…,” she inquired.
“Oh, no, I’m just calling to check on you…”
“Well, I’m fine and I still insist George asked you to call. Don’t worry I will meet at the restaurant anyway. See you there in about forty minutes” she said and hanged up.
As they ate lunch later on, Dr. Brooks engaged her in a guided conversation, “But you agree you burst out often…” he said
“I’m ashamed to admit it, but yes I do…, it feels like I suddenly cannot stand people who parade themselves around as happy go lucky people. They think life is a big rainbow and they expect everybody to be a part of their jamboree…., when did life become a party. They should start walking in the shoes of childless women!”
“Can you say you are getting upset now? I can see your brow arching and the strain on your face”
Hannah came back to herself, “I’m sorry…, it happens like that. Yes, it makes me up set when I think about it…”
“You don’t need to apologise…, I understand and it normal with many women in your situation. I will prescribe some medications for you that will help you relax and I advise you let us talk more often. I can help you with some guidelines and importantly, introduce you to some women who are dealing with similar situations. In times like this, it’s good to be in support groups…,” Dr. Brooks said and sipped some of his water.
“Well, I think I like the first suggestion, I will make time and see you. But I will not sit down with other women and talk about childlessness. It’s not time for pity parties Peter. If cannot stand it now, how do you think I will tolerate other women dealing with the same issue…?”
“It’s not pity-partying Hannah. It’s a support group and you’re able to learn a lot about your situation and how best you can hold yourself up when the frustrations set in…”
“I think such meetings are for people who are trying to get used to their situation. I am not trying to get used to childlessness, Peter” she said almost harshly, “I want a child. I want children….”
“Of course, you do! I’m not suggesting anything different. You don’t get used to childlessness just because you have a support group that loves and understands you”
“I have all the support I need right now….” Hannah said, “I have a loving family that understands me and respect the fact that I can’t manufacture children”
“Great! I’m glad you have a family like that, because not all families understand such facts and for women who come from abusive families, it’s hard, thus the need for support groups, I’m glad we’ve cleared this up,” Dr. Brooks said.
“I am glad I came. And thanks for lunch. I will extend your greetings to George.” Hannah said. Dr. Peter Brooks paid for lunch and the two stepped out of the restaurants. They said their goodbyes and went to their cars and drove off.
Hannah decided not to go back to the office. She would rather go shopping for next week Saturday’s big event. Since everyone would be expecting her, she needed to look the part as always, even if her tears were secretly streaming down her face. She went to Class Lady Boutique and got herself some new dresses and went back home, all the while thinking about how far George will go to make her happy. He was truly a wonderful man and she appreciated his efforts.
Isaac is a Journalist and Creative Writer. Isaac is passionate about storytelling and wants to use it to better his society. He recently published a debut Novel, “Saving Rainbow” Read more from Isaac at, www.isaacparbey.com or call/whatapp to buy a book, 024 023 9171. Email: [email protected]