Takoradi Police

July 23, 2017
Source: thebftonline.com l Ghana
Takoradi Police

Don’t propose to any girl now before September bcos school fees season is approaching. PTA meetings will follow. Wait till October wai! Hahaaaa!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, Mr Maximus Atta of ADB who turned 550 years last Tuesday. You koraa, why Tuesday? Are you a Tuesday born? Congrats, Prof Banking Communicator Atta. I will play Wutah’s latest song for you wai. The reunion of the duo is one of my greatest showbiz joys! When I first heard Wutah was splitting, I prayed to God to change their minds if it was true. I was so devastated that a fine duo like this would want to go their separate ways. Yes, they did and are back and I am loving it. Kotosa was a blast and still is. If in doubt go to a wedding tomorrow even if not invited and you would notice how well the couple will dance to Kotosa no matter how bad they can dance like my friend Patrick Nkansah, who is in Canada now. Pattey, massa let me hear from you o. Send me dollars but not Canadian dollars o; I want Trump’s! Hahaaa!

 In 2006, I heard Wutah’s ‘Big Dreams’ song being played for the first time when I travelled to and Galilea and went to drink at a bar; I didn’t believe the song was from Ghanaians; not even the white people there believed the guys were Ghanaians, whaaat! I mean that Galilea after Kasoa tollbooth near Resurrection Power Ministries! As for you, when I say things, you believe me. What am I going to do in Galilea? Ah!

Birthdays celebrated in one’s forties can be very discomforting. No one wants to be reminded that he would be going on pension soon and after that, eyi! Hahaaaaaa! If in doubt watch the video on social media of that old man dancing to Wutah’s latest hit song. I suggest Wutah makes that video their official music video. There can’t be a better one, I swear!   

I have a problem with birthday wishes on wassap groups. Sometimes you are compelled to wish someone HBD to remind the person that he / she is approaching retirement. If you don’t wish the person ‘HBD EVo’, then as for you, members of the group will see you to be some kan way! Why na by force? Ah! Please take me off your wassap group. I am waiting. You no go delete me? Hahaaaaaa!

 

I was in Takoradi last weekend o. I decided to drive to Apowa pronounced (‘Apa-wine’) to go and look for a girl and had the shock of my life when a police man stopped me to ask of my roadworthy certificate and insurance. I thought they said they should stop that thing. Massa, I did not realize my road worthy certificate and insurance had both expired one and a half months earlier o. He asked me to park which I did. I then put my hand into my pocket to remove the ‘this thing’ so I could be freed to continue with my journey. He ‘wasted’ my time for about 20 minutes educating me on the dangers I stood if my car was involved in an accident and none of those documents was active. First it would be difficult to make an insurance claim and worse of all, if I should accidentally run into another person’s vehicle or even accidentally knock down someone, dead that is when I would know that the blue black uniform they wear has a ‘spiritual’ meaning! That is when ‘rankless’ constable  would be harassing your life and ordering you about to remove your watch and boxer shorts so you can ‘go inside’.

He even educated me on the dangers of driving a car whose roadworthiness cannot be guaranteed bcos there was no proof of how good it was even though my car was in a good condition. He advised me that in the event that I die while driving, it is my wife and children who would have lost something of value and my mashed ‘useless’ body would have to be cleared by them, police people.

After the education, as to be expected, I gave him ‘the this thing’ and he refused to accept it. He looked like someone who would need ‘it’ but he rejected it and educated me on how the law frowns on bribery and that I should never try it again though many of his colleagues were likely to do so. Do what? Don’t ask me anything!

I drove away a highly educated person from this Takoradi Policeman. Massa, there are real professionals in the Police force o, herh! The man ‘embarrassed’ me la. Upon refusing to take the ‘this thing’ from me, he told me no matter how big, my ‘this thing’ was, it could not solve his problems, if anything at all, it had the potential to aggravate his problems and that I should go and use it to solve my family problems. I respected this man to the eyi! Takoradi Police, I salute!

If you are excited by this one, you have no idea what happened to me on my way back at Apam junction. That machine was raised at me for over-speeding. It read 64 in a 50 zone. Policeman showed it to me and arrested me. My offence was simple: driving at 64 in a 50 zone’. I challenged him that there was something wrong with his machine. He told me I was ‘too known’ and that the machine was correct paa. I told him I was even driving at 90km/h and not 64 as he and his machine claimed. He counter accused me of having a faulty speedometer! At the end of the day, before being set free I lost some two ‘blue papers’ for the boys o! ‘Roger’! When you see the man’s stomach er, you can be sure he has diabetes in it, kidney problem in it, asthma in his lungs, high blood sugar, high blood pepper, high blood onion, struggling to breathe and …hmmm. I just wondered with all the ‘eyi’ from motorists, this man doesn’t seem to be at peace with his health. Hmmm. Unlike the Takoradi Police with such a clean conscience, this ‘Mr Stomach’ policeman keeps struggling health-wise though physically far younger than the Takoradi Police. Ao!

The Takoradi Policeman just reminded me of Aban, that elderly policeman who used to be stationed at Kasoa-Weija old barrier. The man was poor in the pocket but very rich in conscience. When he arrests you for road traffic offences, he wouldn’t mind spending the whole day with you in the motor court just to get the right thing done; he won’t take a dime even if you offered it. While some of his colleagues were busily arresting and releasing motorists after the ‘roger’ ritual, Aban was busily preparing people for court and would actually be in the court with you till you are fined and discharged and told to ‘go and sin no more’! The fine goes to the State and Aban goes home hungry but e no dey mind! Ei, where is he now? The last time I saw him was in the early 2000s at Weija junction preparing a trotro driver who jumped the red traffic light for court but I am told he is now stationed somewhere in-between Kintampo and Yapei! Aban nie! I dey feel you rof! He believes his reward for doing his work comes at the end of the month when he is paid his salary - finish! Clean money from one’s sweat!

Good morning ASP Ollivia Adiku, Western Regional PRO of the Ghana Police Service. Please is your office inside Takoradi or Sekondi? I don’t even know why I am asking this question. Greetings from Mfantsiman Girls, P.O. Box 14, Saltpond-Accra! Hahaaaaa!

So wouldn’t any of you ask me what I went to do in Takoradi? God forgive you. ‘Rogerrrrrrrrr’! Hahaaaaaaaaa.